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nadziejastar · 5 years ago

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Would you say that Saix is also maladjusted?

Saïx was definitely maladjusted. Way worse than Axel, lol. And Axel knew he was maladjusted. Because Isa didn’t get a lot of development, a lot of people got the impression that he was always cold and arrogant, even as a human. As if that was just his natural personality.

But from what I could see, that wasn’t true at all. It was the exact opposite. I hate how people don’t differentiate between Isa and Saïx and even in KH3, they were made out to have the same personality. When I first played BBS, I thought Isa was probably similar to Riku in personality. But now, I have a much different view of him.

Riku and Terra have “Earth” personalities. They’re the disciplined, hard-working, serious types. Aqua and Kairi have “Water” personalities. Ventus and Sora have “Air” personalities. Lea obviously has a “Fire” personality.

Isa must have had a “Moon” personality, which is Water-based. From the little bit of personality we can get of Isa from the official sources, he was a typical Cancer. Extremely sensitive, emotional, empathetic, and insecure. He would have been a lot more emotional than Riku. Because of how he was as a human, Axel was VERY forgiving of Saïx’s flaws. He seemed to view Saïx’s personality as being a result of trauma. It was not just his natural personality. Since Isa was naturally oversensitive, Axel was very lenient with him.

“Yeah. As long as we remember one another, we’ll never be apart. Got it memorized?”

Roxas grinned.

“Who are you, and what have you done with Axel?”

“Hey! I tried, okay?” All that effort to cheer them up, and they just turned it into a punch line. Chagrined, he looked away.

Cancers are the perfect adults. Roxas and Xion laughed at Axel when he said this because it didn’t sound like him. When Hayner said this, it was about growing up. Isa was probably the one who said it to Lea originally. Isa was emotionally mature for his age, but as a Cancer, his flaws were insecurity, moodiness, and dependence. Axel had Peter Pan syndrome. Saïx had, well…the opposite. And Saïx’s syndrome was a LOT worse than Axel’s.

“So, Saïx, what am I doing to—? Oh, boy. Awfully early for such a bad mood, don’t you think?”

Saïx had whirled to face him with a rather pronounced scowl. “…Nobodies do not have ‘moods’ to be ruined,” he said at length.

“Well, sure, technically…” Of course, with no hearts, they couldn’t have moods or fits of temper. If something went frustratingly awry, their faces might reveal shadows of remembered emotion, no more. Still, for a remembered shadow, that was a mean glower on Saïx’s face. “Did I miss something?” Axel wondered.

“Xion has collapsed again.”

Now Axel frowned. He sure had missed something. “Did she get hurt or what?”

“No,” Saïx replied, any hint of expression vanishing from his face. “It’s just that the failure was functioning better than expected until recently.”

Cancers are known for being moody and retreating into their shells.

They need time to themselves if they’re in a bad mood.

Axel seemed like he was very much used to dealing with mood swings. “The Wrong Button” was about Xion’s moodiness, but it sounds a lot like Axel was giving Roxas advice based off of his experience with Isa. Axel thought of Saïx as moody, damaged, and overly sensitive.

“In any case, I don’t intend to speak about the failure.”

“Failure, failure… You don’t have to say it like that, do you?”

“I thought I told you not to get too involved.” Saïx swung his chair, turning his back on Axel. Axel could feel nothing but a will of rejection from that back.

“I’m simply caught up in it. If there’s something, please don’t hide it from me, tell me.” Axel got up off the shelf and put his hand on Saïx’s shoulder from behind, peering into that face.

It’s actually very interesting how Axel always treated him with kid gloves and walked on egg shells not to offend him. Saïx would berate Xion in the nastiest way possible and Axel would chide him ever-so-gently to watch his tone. Axel felt nothing but rejection from him, but he STILL put his hand on his shoulder to ask him what was bothering him. It really spoke volumes about the way he viewed Saïx. He treated him like a kid.

Cancers are calm and serene.

But they are overly sensitive and hold grudges.

Saïx is a pretty sad character when you realize he is not really some huge force of evil—he was just a maladjusted guy with the emotional maturity of an abused child. He was very needy and terrified of abandonment and rejection.

It wouldn’t surprise me if the crab in the above panel was even a reference to Saïx being a Cancer. That’s just my hunch.

“Are you getting enough rest?”

“Rest?” Roxas echoed.

“I mean, are you sleeping properly? Keeping clean, taking care of yourself? Those things are all part of being fully prepared for missions.”

“Um, probably,” said Roxas.

Saïx looked vaguely unsatisfied with this response.

“Being prepared is important and so is knowing your own capabilities.”

Cancers are also very maternal. I’ve said it before, but, Isa was meant to be a very feminine character. A nurturing caretaker type.

“And on top of that, you’re late,” Saïx scolded.

“I haven’t…been sleeping well…”

“You’d better. It’s part of your work,” said Saïx. “You know you need proper rest to carry out missions.”

Axel was very depressed on the vacation when he slept in all day. I think he remembered how Isa used to try and mother him and tell him to get enough rest. Saïx now has a complex where he feels like he has to be hyper competent and independent to distance himself from his past. He doesn’t mother Axel anymore. Axel misses the old Isa. IMO, that’s what we were supposed to learn and realize about Axel/Saïx after seeing their entire backstory.

This is exactly why Axel was so maladjusted. He remembered having a wonderful best friend. That’s what Isa was like when he was well-adjusted. Then, his perfect best friend turned into…Saïx. Axel was extremely traumatized over losing Isa.

I’m sure Isa was very protective of Lea, despite not being a natural fighter. That’s what I think triggered his berserk state in the first place. But the flip side is that Saïx was Super Duper Jealous.

And he became psychotically upset when he thought Axel betrayed him. He was…not very well-adjusted at all. He pushed Axel away because he could not tolerate his emotional neediness towards him. Yet, he became psycho when Axel left him. Axel saw him as a broken person and felt sorry for him. I think this is why he wanted to find Isa as soon as he was recompleted. He was willing to put it all behind him because he genuinely did not think Isa was mentally stable.

And he really wasn’t. If they really wanted to redeem Saïx in KH3 without resorting to the possession angle, they really went about it in the wrong way. None of the crap where Saïx acts totally calm and normal and reveals he was doing it all for some random girl was necessary. They really should have used the insanity plea. Saïx should be forgiven for his actions because he was a miserable person who was not in his right mind.

Saïx really did act like a heartbroken ex when Axel left the organization. I think that’s what he was supposed to be. He acted that way because he REALLY loved Lea when he was human. Isa seemed like he was pretty different from the cool, cocky, competitive, self-assured Riku type. He sounded really sweet and cute, actually. But he was too gay for Square and Disney, I guess…

#kh isa #kh saix #isalea #akusai

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blackasteriia · 4 years ago

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13!

Super Duper Deep Character Questions

||First question is shown but the rest is under the cut because it’s a doozy||

13.

Thank you @lunsai for the fantastic header.

Let’s talk about Nomura’s portrayal of Xion’s gender in canon! We are introduced to ‘Xion’ through the eyes of Roxas. He sees a silent, hooded figure who he feels an immediate connection to. Xion does not speak to him for almost two weeks. They run a mission or two together. Then she removes her hood and he sees a young girl. She uses she/ her pronouns. Although there are attempts to misgender her, Xion seems uncomfortable with attempts to enforce a different gender than ‘female’ on her. Then, we have a conversation where we hear Xemnas’ --and assumably Nomura’s-- explanation of Xion’s gender. He says:

“But then through Roxas, Sora himself began to shape ‘it’ into ‘her’ giving Xion a sense of identity.”

Xemnas doesn’t care about Xion’s gender. He cares that she’s trapping Sora’s memories and ensuring that the keyblade remains in his use. However, the explanation of Xion’s gender leans into Nomura’s opinion of her character. Xion is not real to him. She is a fake person. Sora’s impression of Kairi, nothing more, nothing less. Her sense of identity comes from Sora’s memories that she stole from him and Roxas. Sora wanted her to be Kairi, so he made ‘it’ into ‘her.’ I know that Nomura doesn’t believe Xion isn’t a real person because she died at the end of the game. When he removed Sora from her character, there was nothing left of her. He even showed that with all of Sora’s memories, she is just Sora after all. Now, here are some of my observations:

1. It is terrible writing to build a character’s arc on them developing their own identity and personhood, then rip it away at the end. Xion’s story arc literally proves Xemnas right by its ending.

2. Xion’s ‘gender’ is subjective to Roxas’ experience of her. She is a girl only in the sense that Roxas wanted her to be one. As soon as she has enough of Sora’s memory, she visually becomes a ‘boy.’ Well, that’s kinda gross and objectifying isn’t it? It’s almost like Nomura wants all his protagonists to have their own pet Kairi--

3. Xion’s story is parallel --yeah, I’ll go with that word-- to the experience of being transgender. I have zero faith that Nomura intended that. Yet, we have a character that is assigned one gender at birth (although it is a non-gender, I guess?). Who identifies as a different gender. Who deals with misgendering and other attempts to force them into their assigned gender. Hell, it’s almost a good story. Saïx,the guy misgendering her, is treated with contempt. Well, it’s good right up until she’s murdered and the guy abusing her is proven right by de facto. It’s Nomura, though, can’t win it all.

Hey, you know who is a character that is a lot like Xion?

Steven Universe.

No, no, no, come back I’m not joking. Spoilers for season 5 of the show, though.

Steven Universe is a character that identifies as a boy. He has his mother’s gem and many people who see him, see her instead of him. Because of this, Steven is constantly misgendered and referred to as ‘Rose,’ or ‘Pink Diamond.’ Steven is compared through-out the show to Rose and struggles to live-up to her immense legacy. However, he affirms that he is a boy and that he is Steven. He wants to save the Earth and fulfill his destiny is his own Steven-y way. Through-out the series, we see him grow and mature into a heroic lead in his own right. In Season 5 we are introduced to White Diamond. White Diamond plays a role that could be considered akin to Pink Diamond’s mother. White Diamond claims that Steven is just another ‘trick’ and ‘game’ of Pink Diamond. Pink Diamond is hiding behind Steven in order to shirk her duties. So that White can restore her family, her home, and the order of the gem society, Pink must return to her station. To White Diamond, the problem is Pink being convinced that she is a boy named Steven Universe. Pink is so deluded she is even, ‘deceiving herself.’

So, to prove her point, White Diamond removes his gemstone. Steven was born with this gemstone, he has never lived without it. We have been told that he is both human and gem. That Rose ‘gave-up her physical body’ to have him. It is not inaccurate to say that apart of him is literally his mother. This is the most critical question of Steven’s character, is he, after all, really just Pink Diamond hiding? White Diamond risked killing Steven to return Pink Diamond. The gemstone glows and out emerges-- Steven. Pink Diamond is gone and its time for everyone to accept it. Steven then embraces himself and reunites with his gem in a heartfelt scene. White Diamond is left to throw a temper tantrum, but eventually learns to appreciate Steven for who he is.

Now, can you imagine if Rebecca Sugar decided that Pink Diamond popped out of the gemstone instead of Steven? What kind of message would that send? Steven was never Steven. He was only Pink Diamond pretending to be Steven. He was never ‘him,’ only she pretending to be him. It would also work against Steven’s character arc. You know, his arc to establish himself as an independent and unique person, worthy of love, outside of his relationship to Rose? Yeah, that arc. So, now look at Xion’s character arc. Xion’s arc where her independence and identity were stomped on, thrown into the trash, then outright erased. Xion’s arc where she was constantly told ‘you don’t deserve to exist’ even though all she ever wanted was a life of peace with her friends. Xion’s arc which ended in her murder and her abusers absolved, with no consequences for their crimes against her. Xion’s arc where everyone who insulted, degraded, and oppressed her, was proven right. Now, look at Steven’s character arc. You tell me who did it better.

Steven’s story, like Xion’s, has echos of the experience of being transgender. (Quick disclaimer: I am cis and I will never be able to represent the experience of someone who is transgender as well as someone who actually has that identity. I will do my best though and please let me know if I misrepresent something.) He is misgendered and dead named by characters who struggle to accept his (or really, Rose’s) change in identity. Neither Xion nor Steven’s characters are one-for-one and I don’t think they have to be? His character arc works to affirm the lesson of self-love and acceptance of identity that the show hammers on in every episode. I have no idea how intentional Steven’s story is. I do know that Rebecca Sugar is a fantastic writer, with a deep understanding of her characters, and who understands queer identity. Any other outcome than Steven emerging from that gem would cause more harm to young, LGBT+ viewers than good. Xion dying at the end of 358/2 Days is an insensitive, cruel, and needless message of the ‘villain wins, your abuser is right’ directed right to the viewer.

Okay, so now that’s all cleared-up. Let’s do better by Xion than literally everything Nomura has ever done.

First of all, Roxas is not the deciding factor in Xion’s gender. We can keep the influence of Sora’s memories or whatever, but ‘Sora wanting it to be Kairi’ is not a good enough point. So, let’s rewrite that.

No. i had no biological sex and no gender identity at its inception. Whenever I refer to ‘No. i’ on the blog, I refer to it with neutral pronouns. I do this because No. i is not fundamentally Xion. Vexen could recreate a thousand No. i and none of them would be Xion. More than that, not all of them would be girls, or even boys, or individuals that don’t fit between the hard dichotomy. They could be anything or anyone they want. Xion however, came about when she was: named by Xemnas, lived under the influenced of the Organization members, experienced Sora’s memories, and made fundamental choices about her identity. Xion is a gradual creation and unique person who can’t just be ‘remade’ from notes. One of the influences on Xion was Larxene. An incredibly brief and one-sided influence, but effective nonetheless.

I once joked that Xion saw Larxene beat up Demyx one day and decided that girls are cool, therefore she wants to be one. Well, a year later, that is effectively blog canon. Gender is arbitrary and really more based upon our expression than any hard limits anyway. Xion learned from Larxene a few things:

1. girls are cool, boys drool

2. feminine expression and style is badass

3. making boys terrified of you is fun

4. be sassy

And Larxene uses she/her pronouns, and calls herself a ‘girl.’ Therefore, Xion will use she/her pronouns and also call herself a girl. And because Xion thinks of herself as a girl, that’s enough for her to be one. The influence of Sora’s memories may’ve pressed upon her the appearance of Kairi, but that’s only because Xion agreed with that image. Kairi was a suitable blue print to ‘be more girl’ and therefore more badass.

If you ask Xion about her gender she’ll just tell you she’s a girl. I don’t think she’ll ever really evolve past that either. It’s not complex to her. She dresses how she wants. She likes sort’ve feminine clothes too, purples, red, blues. Boots are pratical and shirts should be comfy. The next thing about gender is that we can choose how we express it and what it means to us. As an adult Xion can look at her gender as apart of her identity, one way she can define and describe herself. As someone who has fought so hard and struggled for so long to establish herself as a distinct person, the affirmation of Xion’s gender is powerful and meaningful to her.

#lafemmedefoudre #✰*✦ This is the idiot speaking ⎧OOC⎫#✰*✦ Strangers are just friends you haven’t met yet!⎧Asks⎫#✰*✦More than a mannequin on the strings⎧Headcanon⎫

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aliceslantern · 4 years ago

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Heartlines, a Kingdom Hearts fanfic, chapter 12--The Cottage

Twelve years ago, Xemnas betrayed the royal court of Radiant Garden to his father, Xehanort. Prince Ienzo flees to another city and begins university in the aftermath, hoping the anonymity will protect him from eager eyes with ill intent. The darkness spilling across the country, as well as an individual from his past, cut short Ienzo's new beginning and bring new conflicts to light. Strained between the desires of his magic and his heart, Ienzo's choice will change him forever.

Modern Fantasy AU, Soulmates, Zemyx. Updates Fridays until it's done.

Chapter summary: To escape prying eyes, Ienzo and Demyx go to the seashore to train Demyx's new power.

Read it on FF.net/on AO3

---

Something cool tapped Ienzo’s face. He groaned.

“Sorry, child.” Even’s voice. “Go back to sleep.”

“Even?” He was nauseous. “I feel…”

“Ill? There’s a bin right here.” He held back Ienzo’s bangs as he was sick and handed him a glass of water.

“What… what happened?” Ienzo asked. He rinsed out his mouth and spat. He felt very odd; his muscles trembly, weak.

“A touch of darkness. You should be alright. It seems that coward finally intervened.”

“He’s not a coward,” Ienzo mumbled. “He saved me. Where--”

“Asleep on the couch. He didn’t want to go home until he knew you were okay.” A sigh.

Ienzo sat up slowly. His head was pounding. “I… heard them. Almost as though in my mind. Asking where their wives were… and to help them. You were right, Even.”

Even’s brows furrowed. “For once, I hoped I wasn’t. But Ienzo… if they were turned to shadow, the only way to truly save them… was to give them that small mercy of death. They’re at peace now.”

“I still feel like I’ve killed someone.”

“I know you must. So did Demyx.”

“Tell me you consoled him at least a little bit.”

“...I believe Aeleus did. I was tending to you. Seeing how your body was impacted. Thankfully… you are fine. The shakiness should pass.”

Ienzo tried to stand. Even pushed him back down.

“You need to rest.”

“I want to--see him.”

“Goodness, Ienzo, if it matters that much, I’ll send him up here.” A pause, then another tired sigh. “Things are… settled, then?”

“Yes.” A million questions were bursting in him dizzily. “Where’s my father?”

“He is safe. He’s with Dilan.”

“Demyx has… magic.”

“No doubt brought out when you were in danger.” He set the sick aside. “I suppose we should actually teach the fool to use it.”

“Saïx was there. I’m almost positive he was at least watching the mansion. I should’ve sensed that many Heartless sooner--and before I fainted, my eye hurt.”

Even’s eyebrows shot up. “I… I see. But how could he track you, with--”

“The old fashioned way, I suppose. Or whatever enabled him to use his powers without a full moon.”

“The replicas…” Even muttered. “I wonder if--”

“How would they have put him in another body? And what difference would it have made?”

“I’ve no idea--but I’m certain Xehanort would have mutated my research to suit his own needs.” He tapped his fingers together. “I may have a plan… to get you away from the city while things are so hot… and train the fool at the same time.”

“Forever?”

“I don’t think so--even with Saïx, this is still one of the safest places for you.” He stood and, unexpectedly, placed a kiss on Ienzo’s brow--that was how he knew Even was worried. “Try to get some rest, okay?”

Ienzo was trying to find the energy to get up and go brush his teeth when the door cracked open. “How are you doing?” Demyx asked in a rush. “I was so--”

“I’m a little weak, but I’ll be alright. You saved me.”

He didn’t look proud; his eyes darkened. “I guess.”

Ienzo patted the bed next to him. Demyx sat down. He still smelled like rain from the night before. “You still feel guilty, don’t you?”

He looked down at his lap; tears glittered in his eyes. “How can I not?” he asked. “Those were… people . With memories and stories and songs, and I--killed them.”

Ienzo wrapped his arms loosely around him. “Even was telling me… that, well, if they were so taken by the darkness, only death could help them find some kind of peace. We need to try and internalize that. We helped them, we didn’t kill them.”

He took a shaky breath. “Aeleus told me that too, but…”

“I know. I know it’s hard.” Ienzo felt another rush of guilt, stronger; he was the reason Demyx was suffering like this. “How do you feel… otherwise?”

He swiped at his eyes. “Well… I mean… it’s so weird that I have these powers. Like all of a sudden I could just take the rain around us and make it do things.”

“It makes sense that it’s water, considering where you came from. Elemental magic can be some of the most powerful. Even wants you to train it--and you should. When I first started manifesting my own abilities, not being able to control it could cause… a lot of inconvenience.” Ienzo sighed. “I’m sorry, Demyx. Truly I am. If not for me none of this would have happened to you.”

Demyx touched his pendant. “I would’ve felt empty forever,” he murmured. “The darkness is still coming, Ienzo. That wouldn’t have changed.”

“I know,” Ienzo said. “I’m still sorry.”

---

Aerith had an ingenious solution to their problem. She had a cottage outside the city limits, along the coast; not only would they be away from Saïx’s prying eyes (they hoped), but Demyx could train in relative peace. Even tried to wrangle his way into going with them, but Aeleus was able to convince him that he was still needed here, to do his research on Heartless. For this, Ienzo was grateful.

“This isn’t some romantic getaway,” Even snapped. “It’s for your power--for your safety . You better not touch him.” He glared at Demyx.

“Whoa. Easy, alright?”

Aeleus drove them there. “I’m surprised Even relented at all,” he said. “He must have faith in your capacity to teach.”

“Well, I taught myself most of what I know,” Ienzo said. “I think that can apply. Besides… you’re right. He’s better off doing his research in the city. Likely more Heartless.”

Demyx hummed softly, staring out the window. Dilan let them through the city limits. (If he wasn’t with Ansem, where was Ansem? ) “Everything’s so fucking bright ,” he said.

It was; Ienzo had not realized how accustomed he’d become to the rosy tint in the sky. Aeleus did not comment, but he did put on a pair of sunglasses. “Has it been a long while since you left the city?” Ienzo asked.

“Come to think of it--yeah, it is. The sky is so blue .”

Aeleus chuckled.

As they continued up the coast, the land grew greener, wilder, hills rolling gently. Demyx watched it all raptly, and Ienzo watched him enjoying it. A few hours later, they turned off the deserted road onto a dirt path.

The cottage was small, and clearly very old; its stone was etched with erosion, the shingles mismatched. Ienzo could feel the powerful ward around the place, and saw runes covertly etched along the few trees surrounding the property. A small garden was still overflowing with greenery, spells keeping the plants happy and warm. The sea smelled slightly different here, a little more metallic; then again, it was easing into November. Aerith was waiting patiently by her own car.

“This place is way cute,” Demyx said.

“Thanks. It was my mom’s.” She gazed toward it with affection. “I usually stay here all summer--sometimes longer.”

“I can’t thank you enough,” Ienzo added. “Really.”

“Well, it is only a few days. And I should really be winterizing it anyway.” She shrugged. “The enchantments around it should keep you safe enough, and if they don’t, should warn you if someone’s coming.”

He frowned. “You’re not staying?”

She shook her head. “Normally, I would, but I have… affairs to attend to.” She winked. “But anyway, make yourselves comfortable. There’s a washing machine in the mudroom. Oh, and the hot water runs out quickly, so don’t take too long in the shower.” She handed Aeleus the key. “Don’t have too much fun!” She got in her car and drove off.

They carried in their few bags, their groceries. The place was cramped, and laid out oddly, but frankly it was adorable; small paintings hung on the walls, and while the furniture was mismatched, it was done in an aesthetically pleasing way. Demyx touched the small, old record player. The appliances were old, too, many of them the color of Robin’s eggs, and the sink in the kitchen was trough-style. A rag rug covered part of the worn hardwood floors. All over the place were more flowers; ivy, lilies, calendula, the whole place full of color.

There were only two small bedrooms upstairs, along with a pull-out couch in the living room. “I don’t mind crashing here,” Demyx said, settling on it. “I can fall asleep anywhere.”

Aeleus shook his head. “I should be down here, in case there are intruders. It’s alright.”

He shrugged. “If you say so.”

Both of the bedrooms were small, but they both had ocean views. The double-beds were neatly made with linen that smelled very clean. Aerith had clearly spent some time getting the place ready for them, making Ienzo feel another small wave of guilt. Ienzo touched the pink checkered blanket on the room he’d claimed. He suspected this was Aerith’s room; it felt vaguely like her magic. The room angled into a point; here was a desk and a bookshelf full of all sorts of titles. Romance novels, cookbooks, self-defense instructions, medical texts. Ienzo realized that if he knew her better, they'd be friends.

This settled, he took Demyx down along the beach.

It was colder here, windier, the beach rockier. They sat on towels and listened to the sea. “What I normally do is try to center myself,” Ienzo said.

“Deep breathing?” Demyx asked.

“Whatever would calm you.”

Demyx shut his eyes. After a long moment, he said, “the sea… helps.”

“Good.” He allowed him another few moments, then added, “When you’re calm, imagine… you’re opening a box and taking out something you really love.”

He heard Demyx gasp softly; Ienzo could feel him, his energy. “It’s warm.”

“Yes. Is it easy, or hard to hold onto?”

“Pretty easy.”

A good sign. His passive abilities must have something to do with that. “Good. That’s good.” He thought of when he’d shaped his own elemental magic. “Do you feel the energy in the earth below you?”

“Kind of--I--” His brows furrowed. “Moreso--the water next to me.”

“Imagine picking it up. Carrying it. However would be easiest.”

“Um… okay.” The tides seemed loud now. Ienzo looked over; The surf was definitely a little more violent than before.

“Keep breathing. Deeply. We’re safe here.”

The water retreated a little. “Is it supposed to be heavy?”

“That’s you expending your own energy. Pull it towards you. Carefully.” He watched the water. Part of the shoreline crept towards them, until it was nearly touching the edge of Ienzo’s towel. “Open your eyes, Demyx.”

He did. He saw the seawater nearly touching them and gasped; at his surprise, the water surged forward more, higher, and slapped them both. It was like ice, soaking Ienzo through. “Shit, I--I’m sorry, I--”

He laughed a little. “Very good. Now let’s go get changed.”

Back inside, they both dried off and put on warmer clothes. Aeleus was nowhere to be found; he left them a note saying he was patrolling the perimeter and would not be back for some time. “Ugh, why couldn’t I get my powers in, like, the summer.” Demyx shivered somewhat theatrically. He sat on his bed. This room was more plainly decorated than the other; its wallpaper was light blue stripes, the comforter a soft, pale yellow. He popped open a small instrument case and took out a ukulele. “Was kind of cramped in the car for my sitar.”

Ienzo sat down next to him. Even in a sweater, he thought he could still feel the cold water. “You should be proud of yourself. You came pretty far in a few hours.”

Demyx strummed a few chords idly. “Did I? I mean. I got us drenched.”

“Only because you reacted emotionally. We can work on that tomorrow, when we have all day.”

The song Demyx began playing was mournful, delicate.

“Is that how you feel?”

“No,” he said. “It’s how the ocean feels today. I sensed it, I think.”

“It’s great that you could.”

He hummed distractedly. For a few minutes Ienzo just listened to him play. The melody was surprisingly complex, making the fine hairs on Ienzo’s arms rise. For the first time he completely understood that Demyx was a siren. Too soon, it stopped.

“Why’d you--”

Demyx set the ukulele aside. “You’re shivering,” he said. “Come here.” He pulled Ienzo into his arms and they eased back against the bed; Demyx tugged the comforter up over them.

“It smells different,” he remarked.

“What does?”

“The bed. I’m used to yours.” The warmth helped greatly.

“It’s hard for you to sleep, isn’t it?”

“It can be, yes. I… think too much.”

“Are you thinking now?”

“Not really. Not quite.” He could hear the beat of Demyx’s heart, steady and vital. Slowly, he looked up. Demyx leaned down and kissed him.

They hadn’t done much else than kiss chastely since that initial attempt; very quickly Ienzo realized this was different, and moreover, that he’d missed it quite dearly. Demyx threaded his hands through his still-wet hair and slid his tongue into his mouth. No; now Ienzo was no longer cold at all. He slid his hands down Demyx’s back, pulling away his sweater to feel at skin. Demyx moaned a little and eased him down onto the bed.

For a long while they just kissed and touched, a sort of reacquaintance. Demyx traced small circles along Ienzo’s sides, gently working his shirt off. He kissed at the bare skin. Ienzo’s clit began to throb, faintly, and then less faintly when he could feel Demyx’s hard dick pressing against his thigh. He reached to take off Demyx’s shirt as well and slid his hands over his ass, smooth muscle. “Ienzo, I--”

“What?” he asked.

The color was bright in his face. “Aeleus… he’ll be gone a while, right?”

“That’s what he said.”

He took a quick breath. He got off of Ienzo and shut the door. Seeing him in the fading light of day made Ienzo’s heart beat a little faster.

“Take your pants off,” he said.

“...What?”

“Did I stutter?”

Something sparked in his eyes. He did as Ienzo said and crawled back under the covers. Without another word, he slid off Ienzo’s, taking the underwear with them. Ienzo pulled him close, kissing his throat, his collarbones, sliding his hand down along Demyx’s side to his dick. The small sound he made only turned Ienzo on more. He felt the scratch of fingers along his inner thigh and gasped out loud. Ienzo tugged at Demyx’s underwear, and while it was awkward the way they were tangled to remove them, they managed it at last. Demyx laughed a little.

Ienzo took his dick into his hand, gratifying at the way it hardened more. He moved slowly, gently.

“You’re killing me,” he muttered. He brought his palm up between his legs, quickly finding the clit, rolling his thumb along it in a way that was equally teasing. Ienzo kissed him harder, pressing against his hand, so Demyx stroked him a little more earnestly, sliding a finger into him. “You’re really wet.”

“Demyx?”

“What?”

“Can we try again?”

This seemed to break his haze. The question startled Ienzo as well. “Are you… sure? I mean, it was painful for you last time--”

“I don’t think it will be any more.”

“I didn’t even bring any--”

“It’s alright.” Ienzo pressed his lips against his throat. “You still taste like the ocean.” He ran his tongue along his jaw; Demyx made a sound between a laugh and a groan. “I’ve been taking birth control for close to a month now. It’s plenty safe.”

“You… did that?”

“I like to be prepared.” He brushed his fingers along Demyx’s cheek.

“If you’re… sure. I… don’t want to hurt you.” He eased another finger inside of Ienzo. Unlike the last time, there was no pain; he was actually at the point where it nearly made him squirm.

Ienzo opened his legs a little more. He stroked Demyx a few more times; he struggled for breath, his head bowed. He pushed away Ienzo’s hand.

“If we’re going to do this, I want to last for you.” He leaned down and kissed Ienzo’s nipple, teasing it with his tongue, a sensation so overwhelming he thought he might faint. He felt the fingers disappear, too soon. Demyx’s voice dropped. “Tell me if this is too fast, or…” He trailed off and kissed him once more on the mouth. He had to guide it, with his hand, until again Ienzo felt the tip of it against him.

There was a little anxiety, still. He wanted this to work so badly, to make Demyx feel even half as good as he so often made Ienzo. He pressed into him slowly; to Ienzo’s intense relief, it didn’t hurt at all.

“You’re okay?”

“It’s really okay.”

A smile flitted across his face. Demyx took him a little more, and while Ienzo gasped, it wasn’t from pain. “You feel so good,” he whispered.

“So do you.”

“It’s really working.” A soft laugh. “That’s, um. All of it.”

For a moment Ienzo just let himself adjust. Demyx kissed him again, and while it was a little complicated, Ienzo felt his other hand reach down to stroke his clit. He moaned against Demyx’s shoulder.

“Just tell me what feels good, okay?” He began to move, gently. Ienzo grasped at his shoulders. The gentle push and pull of their bodies was like the tides outside. It took him a minute or so before he was able to fall into a rhythm with him, resting his legs against Demyx’s thighs so he could move more easily.

This was what he’d hoped their first time would feel like, the beauty of their bare skin. His thoughts were losing cohesion. Ienzo pulled him closer. “A little deeper.”

Demyx shifted his weight, his cock sliding out more with each thrust, and Ienzo could feel each little movement so distinctly. “Like this?”

A small sound left him. “Maybe faster?”

He took a shaky breath. Demyx’s fingertips were still working Ienzo’s clit, a lush tightening forming in his belly, his thighs. The same hand moved away, up under his back, helping him bring them back together. Ienzo ground his hips a little against Demyx’s and felt his dick quiver a little. Demyx kissed him hard. “That’s so good,” he gasped.

This felt like losing and getting lost. He’d hoped for this time not to hurt; he hadn’t anticipated actual pleasure , every part of him just getting more and more sensitive. They were moving against each other with more urgency now, eager and raw, both of them breathing hard; Ienzo could barely open his eyes.

“I… I’m sorry,” Demyx said against his shoulder. “I’m getting really--”

“Me too.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Demyx laughed a little, and Ienzo did too. Ienzo was able to kiss him once more before he lost control.

It was so… odd, to fall apart so wholly. It rocked through him, leaching into his magic, and considering Demyx was still inside him he felt every wave of it. “Ienzo,” Demyx moaned, and a moment later he felt a flush of warmth, the slight twitch of Demyx’s dick. He leaned against him more heavily for a moment before he was able to ease out of him. “Are you okay?”

“More than.” He was breathless. Demyx lay down against his chest. “I’d… hoped it would get easier.”

“Me too.” He kissed Ienzo once. “God, that was--”

“I know.” His clit was still tingling. More than anything, he realized, he felt relieved ; not just from the sex, but from the anxiety that they wouldn’t be physically compatible.

“I was… worried.”

“As was I. I think I just… simply wasn’t used to having anything there.”

Another kiss, this time against his shoulder. “Well. I’m happy to take care of that any time.”

Ienzo laughed.

#heartlines #ienzo #demyx #zemyx #even (kingdom hearts)#aeleus #aerith #ienzo is trans

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092219archive · 4 years ago

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rough stuff of a zombie apocalypse au :~) outfits are based from kh3. i adjusted them a bit (lea’s actually wearing a long sleeve jacket and isa’s hair is tied up) but they’re mostly reasonable for a post apocalyptic world i’d like to think

still in progress! i’m tryna write up a fic of different scenes during the au. not sure if it’s gonna have a whole big plot (that’d be kinda cool tho) with all these twists like kh does but i’ll see

axel and saïx are code names for communication purposes. they’re still lea and isa. outside of base, they’re required to keep all info private

i just wanted to make sure these names are used because they’re important to the plot and to me tbh... i wanna see if i can figure out other ways to use them

lea and isa grew up together when the outbreak began and we’re working together until they were picked up by xemnas

as per the kh plot, they are apart of “the organization.” i’m not exactly sure what their purpose is or how they function but maybe xemnas has wesker-esque ideals. “i’m not destroying the world, i’m saving it” deal

wesker’s lines at the end of re5 go kinda hard yo...

sometimes the organization members are referred to as numbers. isa makes a joke saying “i’m reporting to the superior that no. 8 has been bitten and has become irrational”

(lea didn’t really get infected, he’s just about to do something dumb)

right now, i know eren’s not apart of the org. at some point they’re, uh. "kindly” asked to answer questions (lea may or may not have beat them up acfhdsihs) and possiblyyy join...?

i’m not sure if i want roxas and xion to be deserters. they were either abandoned or they ran away together, but i do want them to have some connection with eren. maybe eren helps or watches over them somehow

eren works independently so when roxas and xion ask for help (?), they’re rejected like. immediately and on spot

until zombies come i guess and they’re forced to work together

#long post #uhh ask to tag? just in case #post apoc aus can potentially deal w sensitive subject matter #so if anyone needs me to tag anything ahead of time #feel free to lmk!#my art #anyways it's nearly 6 so i gotta snooooze

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writteninsunshine · 4 years ago

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I Like The Universe - Saïx/Xemnas - NSFW

Title: I Like The Universe

Author: Donnie

Fandom: Kingdom Hearts

Setting: The Castle That Never Was, Xemnas’ Room

Pairing: Saïx/Xemnas

Characters: Saïx, Xemnas, Axel

Genre: Romance

Rating: M

Chapters: 1/1

Word Count: 14450

Type Of Work: One-Shot

Status: Complete

Warnings: Gay, Slash, Yaoi, MLM, Oral Sex, Vague Master/Pet, Blowjobs, Face-Fucking, Skull-Fucking, PWP

Disclaimer: I don’t own anything.

Summary: The universe didn’t always have to be stars and planets.

AN: Hey guys, it’s me again! Just thought I ought to say, if you want vague updates and to talk to me more, I have Twitter and Tumblr, too! Twitter is Sunshinecackle, and Tumblr is Writteninsunshine! I also have a writing Discord that is currently pretty dead. xD I can PM it to people who want it on FFN, for everyone else, it’s here: https://discord.gg/FyaWw25

I had this thought in my head last night and had to write it, I guess. I’m glad to get something written, I’ve been using writing sprints to get something done. It helps me to focus, so that’s good, at least. I’ve been needing to write more.

Kingdom Hearts Fic Masterlist

I Like The Universe

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Saïx liked the universe.

Something about the vastness of it, the sky spattered with stars, the knowledge of other Worlds, it all settled the anxiety in his chest. He could look out of the windows, or go to a high place to think, and the universe was always there to comfort him, to wrap its inky tendrils around his mind. It soothed his non-heart until it didn’t scream anymore until it was silent, and the silence was better than the loudness of his thoughts.

Saïx liked Xemnas.

He shouldn’t have, and he knew that, deep down. Axel and himself had gone into this not wanting to fall on his side. The unfortunate part was that it seemed that he was going to be left in the dust, their plan forgotten. There was nothing left of what they had once wanted to accomplish, and Saïx had been left behind, abandoned for the next cool thing. His heart, or lack thereof, had ached for days.

That same silence he craved in his head became his entire personality, his loyalty in the right place to be swayed. Xemnas was nothing if not practical, and he’d seen it fit to call Saïx to his precipice, to draw him in and welcome him home. If he could keep someone’s loyalty, well, that was better than all of these little plots among his supposedly happy family.

“You wanted to see me, Superior?” Saïx asked calmly, watching the elder man as he gazed at Kingdom Hearts.

“Yes,” Xemnas spoke plainly, turning slowly, ethereal in all of his movements, “I am glad you arrived when you did. Has everyone checked in that was supposed to?”

“Yes, Superior.” The blue-haired man nodded, “Everything seems to be taken care of for the day.”

“Good. I was hoping you could join me in my room.” The elder man told him, stepping closer. A gloved hand pressed into Saïx’s cheek and he leaned into it, eyelids slipping closed. “Would you care to?”

“Yes, Superior.” He craved the attention, no matter what it was.

“Good.” Opening a corridor, Xemnas gestured for the other to enter, “Please, after you.”

“Yes, Superior.” Those words left him so often, but they made him feel obedient, which was something Xemnas sought in him constantly. Perhaps he wanted it, too, because it earned him nothing but praise. As he walked through the portal, he let the other lead him, feeling a hand taking his own. It brought a soft smile to his lips, and he allowed himself to be taken to the elder man’s room.

A companionable silence overcame them as they entered Xemnas’ room, and the nightly ritual of undressing and laying together began. Xemnas’ hands worked through his hair, pulling a soft noise of contentment from the blue-haired man, and Xemnas simply smiled for him, closed-lipped and soft.

“What would you like to do tonight, pet?” Xemnas asked him, finally, his head tilting against the pillow.

“I… Want to be touched,” Saïx responded softly, head tilting as those dark-skinned hands worked under his jaw to scratch there. It felt good, and his head fell back to grant him more access. Every gentle scrape of the other’s perfectly trimmed nails left him adjusting just slightly into the next touch and he sighed softly, content.

“Then I shall touch you. A loyal pet deserves nothing less.” The silver-haired male replied, kissing the scar between Saïx’s eyes and nuzzling his neck gently with his nose. Sitting up slowly, he let the blanket fall down to his hips, pooling there as his hands moved down Saïx’s chest. “On your back, pet.”

Rolling over and spreading out, Saïx bared himself to the other, watching as the elder man leaned down over his stomach. Soft hair tickled his abdomen as gentle kisses and sharp bites pressed into his skin. A soft throbbing began between his legs as those nails dug into his sides, scraping down to his thighs. Softly, a keening whine left him, and his back arched as the elder’s tongue swirled around his nipple, leaving him panting softly. Xemnas always knew how to touch him to set his every nerve on fire.

Saïx whined again when the other’s mouth found his hip bone, biting into it and sucking until his cheeks hollowed. The younger man wriggled beneath his mouth, only stilling when one of those deft hands wrapped around his cock and began to stroke. It was times like these that made him feel important when Xemnas would focus entirely on <i>his</i> pleasure, and not his own.

After a moment, those teeth left him and Saïx peered up just in time to watch Xemnas get up, settling between his legs. All of that dark skin pressed to and between his own left Saïx breathless, and he gasped as the elder’s tongue swirled around the head of his cock. No matter how much he wanted to watch, he found himself unable to, eyelids fluttering shut as he groaned.

Xemnas’ tongue played at the elastic bit of flesh beneath the head, and he sucked softly, leaving a panting groan pulled from Saïx’s lips. His hands fisted in the sheets, and the blue-haired man whined when he felt the other’s hand begin to stroke what wasn’t in his mouth. The other hand slipped down to roll his heavy balls, expertly pulling more gut-punched moans from his lips.

Finally, Xemnas’ mouth dropped lower, slowly taking in more of him, sucking him deep and moaning around him. Swallowing around the head in his throat, he delighted in the howl of a moan leaving the other man, his back arching and hips threatening to leave the bed. He slurped loudly, sucking his way back to the head, before giving a little purr of a moan.

“You may thrust if it suits you, pet. You’ve been so good for me.” Xemnas couldn’t have said anything better, and the second that his lips closed around his prick again, both of Saïx’s hands flew to his hair. Thrusting up into the hot, wet cavern, his eyes rolled back, mouth open as he leaked precum down the other’s throat already. Xemnas gagged a little, at first, before relaxing his throat and letting Saïx have his fun. Sometimes that was all he had to do, let himself be used and the other was only that much more obedient afterward.

Even if that wasn’t the goal, Xemnas rather did enjoy how the other’s cock bulged his neck when he thrust, and he found himself closing his legs to try and mitigate some of his own arousal. Saïx was a handsome young man, and a good person to have on your side, even if he occasionally dallied with the wrong crowd. All he cared about at the moment was Xemnas and the pleasure that the elder could give him, and sometimes, that was enough.

Saïx worked himself into a frenzy, bucking off the bed wildly and force-feeding the other his cock with each erratic movement. It felt too good to finally be able to get some of that wild energy out, and all he had to do was chase his orgasm like it was the only purpose left for him. Xemnas would let him use him, and it was possibly the best thing anyone could have given him at this point in his life.

Throat spasming around him as Xemnas gagged again, Saïx felt the heat pooling in his stomach twist and he gave a loud howl, tossing his head back as his body went stiff. Both feet dug into the bed and pushed down, and he thrust up as he came, filling the other’s belly as he swallowed. Fists turned to soft palms, smoothing down Xemnas’ hair as he came down, hands quaking. He felt so good, now. It… Really was amazing how much more relaxed Xemnas could make him.

Slowly pulling off of his cock, Xemnas let it fall from his lips with a gentle ‘pop’ and laid it on Saïx’s belly. He smiled up at the other as he pet his milky thighs, and he kissed one of them before rising and falling in bed beside the other. Saïx was too tired to do much, smiling and nuzzling into him, holding the other male close. Asleep in a matter of seconds, Saïx remained curled around the silver-haired man for the rest of the night, Xemnas happy to work himself off slow and careful under the covers beside the other. Tomorrow would be a productive day, for sure.

Saïx loved the universe, but when he thought about it, he wasn’t thinking about planets and galaxies. It was Xemnas; even if they couldn’t love, his heart had figured it out.

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AN: Alright, so that is out of the way! I’d had this idea even if I didn’t know where it was going last night and finally sat down to write it. I hope you guys enjoyed it!

#Kingdom Hearts Fanfic #Kingdom Hearts Fanfiction #SaiXem #kingdom hearts saix #kingdom hearts xemnas #saix x xemnas

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nortling · 5 years ago

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it’s pocky day and i wrote a fic! all of my 2005 days come back to haunt me, i hope y’all enjoy

pairing: saix/xeros & xemnas/xeros other characters: axel, demyx rating: pg13 wordcount: 2k summary: It’s 11/11 in The World That Never Was. Xeros learns a new game.

In the early morning, Xeros was still coming out of the drowsy stupor of their sleep. They had slipped into their coat and made their way to the small kitchen on their side of the organization's fort, and it was there that the familiar sounds of their coworkers perked their ears. Demyx, in particular, was a trusted friend of theirs, and they were always thankful to be in his company.

"Come on, it's an old tradition." His voice was playful as ever, and Xeros peered in to see him talking with Axel. The redhead stirred up mixed feelings, but they harbored no genuine ill-will against him. Friendly as ever, he raised a hand to greet Xeros, and Demyx turned to see the joining party, smiling widely when he noticed his friend.

"Maybe you can play with Xeros, then. Unlike some of us, I have work to do." Despite the taunt, Demyx remained smiling and simply shrugged, letting the implications roll off his back like water.

"Maybe I will, then!" With Demyx's beckoning, Xeros crossed the floor to the table they were sat at. In Demyx's hand was a red box, and the cookies inside were different from any that Xeros had seen before. Demyx shook the box gently, and retrieved a single stick, holding it between his fingers. "Do you know about the Pocky Game?"

Xeros tilted their head, one ear falling to the side. "Never heard of it. What's Pocky?"

Demyx's expression shifted from surprise to understanding, and he tilted the box down to Xeros's level in offering. "Snacks. Give 'em a try."

Xeros shot a quick glance up to gauge Axel's thoughts - they had learned well enough not to accept anything that the Dancing Flames endorsed without something to drink immediately within arm's reach. Reading only mild bemusement, Xeros reached in and fished out a stick of their own, studying the chocolate glaze before taking a small nibble.

It wasn't bad at all. Xeros would easily admit that they had a soft spot for treats, and these aligned with that category rather nicely. Their tailtip began to twitch, and they eagerly chomped down the rest. "These are pretty good."

Eros's verdict delivered, Demyx set the tip of his own between his teeth and continued on. "I know, right? These are just the chocolate ones, but they come in other flavors-- Oh! Right, the game." From behind him, Axel chuckled, one brow raised. Demyx bit off the tip and held it up again, clearing himself to explain.

"So, there's two ends, right? You have one person on each side, and then you both eat as much as you can until you get to the middle. The person who chickens out and pulls away first is the loser. Get it?"

Xeros nodded, a bit slower now as they tried to process it all.

"I think so."

"C'mere, I'll show you." Demyx replaced the partially-eaten stick in his mouth, pushing a few stray strands of hair out of his face.

Xeros glanced nervously up at Axel, who despite his claims of other work, seemed plenty pleased to sit and watch their game unfold. Demyx had to lean down to match their height, and Xeros's paw grasped at the edge of the table to steady themselves as their focus was diverted.

"Ready?" He asked through his teeth, and Eros flicked their ears in confirmation. "Go!"

Within seconds, Demyx realized the mistake he made. Xeros's long snout provided a clear advantage in terms of speed, and his shoulders jolted when their sharp teeth snapped so closely to his face. He pulled back only to be greeted with Axel's snickering, and Eros licked their lips, savoring the taste of chocolate.

"Aw, dammit! Really? I thought this was supposed to be your first time!"

"It was."

Xeros joined Axel in a chorus of giggles, and the redhead reached out to snatch away the box of Pocky, straight from Demyx's hands. The other gave a small "Hey!" of protest, but his resistance was merely minor.

"To the winner goes the spoils. You gave a nice show, I'll give you that." Axel rose from his spot across the table and circled around to the other side of Xeros, pressing the box into their chest. Careful not to crush its contents, Eros took it in their paws, and looked up to see Axel waving in the doorway. "I wasn't kidding about work, though. I'll catch you guys later."

Demyx raised his hand in return, and moved to clean up the remnants of his breakfast. "Yeah, yeah. Well, joke's on him, cause I actually do have an assignment today. I'll see you at dinner, alright?"

Xeros gave a small smile back, and watched his back as he left. The room seemed so much quieter with him gone, and they were lost in thoughts about their own work for a long minute before they remembered the package in their hands. It wouldn't make a very good breakfast, so they set it aside on the table, but it would certainly come with them later, finding use with the new things their friend had taught them.

The red box was now nestled safely in Xeros's arms, who was slightly more awake and slightly more full. Though they had a good guess of what their work today would be - mostly sitting at the computer with a textbook or two in paw - it was still in good form to ask their superior beforehand, in case any changes were made. Their claws clicked against the floor as they padded up the stairs and turned the corner into what served as Saïx's office.

A pile of reports was strewn across his desk, haphazardly separated into disorganized piles. He only needed to look up for a second, and it was the shift of his golden eyes that told Xeros that their presence was known, rather than any change in the cool, focused expression that Saïx so frequently wore.

"Good morning," Xeros began, though much softer and reserved in tone than they had been with Demyx before. "I assume I'll be continuing work with my programming today?"

Saïx closed the folder he had open and set it aside, turning his attentions to his charge. "To my understanding, yes - though Lord Xemnas spoke of coming to check on your progress himself today."

Xeros's ears flicked in silent disdain. Though they responded with fair diligence to orders passed through Saïx, they wouldn't have said that their leader's company was something they enjoyed.

"What is it that you have there?"

Saïx's question brought Xeros's ears back to their highest point, and their tailtip began to twitch excitedly, a smile pulling at the edges of their maw. Xeros shuffled it forward to their hands and held it out to Saïx, showing off the morning's reward.

"I won it from Demyx. He taught me how to play this morning."

Saïx's brow furrowed with a sigh. "So he roped you into that idiocy as well, I take it?"

"Hey, it doesn't take long. You know, you should play a round with me." Even at Saïx's harsh tone, they grinned. It was just his way of showing concern, they had come to understand - keeping the organization on track to a single goal was no simple task, they knew. "Please?"

Others would never dream of begging Saïx like this, but Xeros had been granted a particularly special privilege by way of their selection for specialty training. They had come to work very closely with Saïx during their time so far, and despite his cold outward demeanor, they considered his company to be the most pleasant of everyone they had met since their awakening.

The silence stretched on for an uncomfortable amount of time, but finally, Saïx's shoulders slumped, and he motioned for Xeros to come behind the desk.

"Fine. One game. It better be quick."

With a spring in their step, Xeros retrieved a single stick from the packaging and set the uncovered end between their teeth, just far enough to hold on. Even sitting down, Saïx's height was daunting, and Xeros grabbed the arms of the chair, straddling their unflappable partner. The edges of his lips curled just slightly as he took in Xeros in all of their eagerness. He steadied the opposite end and paused to speak before matching Eros side-for-side.

"You tell me when."

"Go!"

With inhuman speed, Xeros's jaws quickly snapped up the treat, the bread crumbling to nothing as their tail wiggled fervently behind them. This time, however, their partner was less timid...or perhaps just more familiar with Xeros's particular quirks. Though it was just a brief second, Xeros's lips brushed against Saïx's. And though it was him who pulled away first, Xeros was left quieter when they fell back themselves, one paw raised to cover their mouth.

Before Xeros could realize and celebrate their win, footsteps caused their ears to swivel. And when they looked up, they pinned flat to Xeros's hair, the sight of the man leaning against the doorframe, arms crossed over his chest, nearly driving a growl from their throat.

"I see we're getting quite a lot of work done today."

"Ah, Lord Xemnas--"

The deep gravel of his voice sent a shiver down Xeros's spine, and their gaze followed him closely as he approached with slow, steady steps. He paused to look down at Xeros and Saïx both, caught in the compromising position as they were.

Xemnas's hand closed around the back of Xeros's coat and dragged them backward, leaving them scrambling for footing. He wasn't especially violent, but it was not a gentle suggestion, either.

"I heard talk of it this morning. Something about a silly game; About this date being emblematic in particular."

He reached down and plucked the box from Xeros's grasp, turning it over in his free hand. Saïx shifted in his seat, saying nothing, only watching as Xemnas set their mutual subordinate down against the wall. Fishing out a single stick, he reached down to tilt Xeros's face up by the jaw, placing it in the gap between rows of sharp teeth. Their lips curled back in a silent snarl, but they dared not actually threaten him.

"Oh, please." His tone was laced with a falsified dramatism, feigning the hurt pitch of his question. "You wouldn't be thinking of leaving me out, would you? Humor me with a round."

Xemnas outranked, outpowered and outsized Xeros with ease, and they were at a loss with his form pinning them back against the wall. Their hair raised, the fur on their neck prickling to a full, fluffy warning in particular, but it was no deterrent at all. Xemnas leaned down and took the other end between his lips, nudging them into action.

Xeros's competitive streak kicked into full gear, and they were more aggressive now than even with Saïx, meeting closely with Xemnas's side in less than a second.

But it was of no use. Xemnas freed a hand and ran it down Xeros's side in one smooth motion, the warmth of his rough palms proving to be an infuriating distraction. Only partway down did he slide his touch to their back, arching their spine off the wall and sending a shudder down their entire form. Xeros's focus crumbled, and Xemnas's lips met with their own in a chaste kiss.

Xeros fell away with a quiet gasp. Xemnas had already set the box back on the desk and sat back with a self-satisfied smile by the time the feeling in Xeros's extremities returned.

"Shit!" They snapped, their paw flying up to cover their mouth. Their pads pressed to their lips, and Xeros found it impossible to look up and meet their superior's eyes.

Xemnas straightened up and nodded to Saïx, then, acting as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened at all. Even Saïx responded with a slight stutter at the beginning of his words, but recovery came faster for him than Xeros, who sat fuming as they conversed idly.

It was a quick exchange regarding confirmation of the day's tasks, and it seemed to end as quickly as it started, Xemnas turning on the heels of his boots. But Xeros was not left forgotten. A hand again reached out for them, this time ruffling their hair, and were Xeros of a different mind, they may have batted it back or recoiled. Instead, though, they simply remained put, allowing Xemnas to weave his fingers through their hair as he pleased.

"Good boy, Xeros, you're doing well for me so far. You should continue your work as I last left it."

With that, Xemnas did finally take his leave, leaving Xeros and Saïx both to their stunned silence.

#erosposting #kh #self insert #self shipping #pocky day #WELL THIS IS PRETTY ON-BRAND FOR ME #everyone did very cute and fluffy things and i spawned. xemnas #also its been 40 years since i last wrote but i'm pretty pleased.

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melodiiousnocturne · 5 years ago

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( dylan wang , cismale , he / him , kingdom hearts ) * &. i know it must be scary for you , demyx , after surviving the takeover . to turn into someone like myde lu , a twenty-one year-old part time clerk at the hq and part time instructor at the record scratch , right here in castle town . just remember that you are as easygoing as you are indolent , and to be wary , be safe , be true to who you are : neutral through and through .

hi as i said in gc , this is one big tl;dr i’m a demyx stan !

BEFORE CASTLE TOWN.

where do i begin

demyx — number ix in organization xiii ( demyx vc : are we still gonna call ourselves organization xiii now that there’s 14 of us ? ) he is ... lazy . arguably the most cowardly of the bunch , doesn’t like fighting , and would rather nap or play music .

that being said ... despite his very emotional exterior in comparison , we have seen that he can get just as serious / dark like the rest of them if he really needs to ...

idk i have a lot of feelings .

he’s very ?? idk how to explain it bt like . “ what’s in it for me ? ” ( as we really see in kh3 ) & like . i wld say he is a mix of ravenclaw / slytherin just . minus the whole cutthroat ambition of slytherin etc bc tbh that isn’t him . he’s kinda just along for the ride . i am rejecting those MoM theories and i’m not sorry ab it idc if they say it’s true , i REFUSE .

i feel like since demyx allegedly never remembered his somebody life , he probably didn’t care as much ab the whole kingdom hearts thing because he didn’t drink the kool-aid because like why would he want a life that he doesn’t even remember you know ?? plus it’s — he already knew xemnas & saïx were fucken lying when they said the nobodies didn’t have hearts JKDWJHSNS why did he need to be a somebody to regain a heart when he believed he already had one !!!

whatever .... lmao

anyway demyx in the manga was honestly a mood and a half i adore him

when he was brought back to the organization for kh3 , he was made into a seeker of darkness — meaning baby water boy got NORTED . his ears didn’t appear to be pointed in some way ( like the others ) so it’s safe to say he didn’t get as much of xehanort’s heart placed inside of him . bt it was enough to turn his pretty blue eyes into that ominous gold .

regardless , he was benched despite going through that whole process which like i HIGHLY doubt is an easy one to even do ( so good on demyx for being strong enough to withstand it ,,, ) bt it’s ! to be noted ! because he felt bitter ab being demoted after , and ofc with a mystery incentive from vexen , demyx finally took the offer of backstabbing the organization ( read : it goes back to what i said ab him being like well what’s in it for me ..... since before he got apparently satisfied enough , he’s like uhhhh sorry bt have u seen what happens to idiots who betray these guys lol like idk ab all that )

so basically self-preservation of a slytherin . there i said it ! plot twist he isn’t a coward , he’s just smart enough to not throw himself head first into danger . go figure , right ? like look alright he may be comedic relief bt ... he is also more than that !

in the organization he was known to kinda be a bully / play pranks / manipulate others into doing his work for him bt at the end of the day he ?? isn’t like . REALLY a bad guy or whatever . saying it was the pressure of the organization is dulling everything down , because he still actively chose to do what he did and didn’t do and i will hold him responsible for it , bt . u know . shit happens !

like we have canon evidence he wld join in xigbar when it comes to the more like . idk i guess harsher teasing ? and all ? and like again demyx made the conscious choice to go along w it so he isn’t innocent bt , i firmly stand by saying demyx unintentionally looked up to xigbar despite even ‘ fighting ’ with him , bc .. well . i stan them being a That duo . because to me , he’s just a prankster who wants a laugh .. even at the expense of another .. which yea idk still yikes ... bt it isn’t like , malicious .. when he is on his own .. imo . i mean take the days manga , he puts a whoopee cushion on axel’s chair ? bitch pls ..

( also quick going back to him being strong enough to accept getting norted — please just remember .... nobodies aren’t even supposed to exist ! they only technically form when the person who lost their heart is strong-willed & tbh ? i think it speaks volumes for demyx bc despite the show he puts on ,..... he is there . )

alright so look i know i sound like i am in denial of the MoM stuff and that mayhaps be so . however there’s definitely smthin off . like we KNOW he can be uhhhh a pos like the remark he has in days ab how the castle that never was is quieter without everyone who was eliminated at castle oblivion , bt — it was always a really weird line to me because he’s always been branded as the most emotional of the organization / the one who adamantly believed they had hearts the whole time ? which . inch resting ! i wld like to formally say ONE OF THESE is a fucken coping mechanism of sorts or smthin bc it’s really ... a lot and nothing makes sense and like that’s the entirety of kh lore in a nutshell bt ya . like i think it ties into the whole self-preservation thing bc it’s like , wow they really went and got themselves fucken murked ... how dumb ... bt at the same time bc like again the biggest pusher for #nobodieshavehearts , it’s like “ oh that’s depressing ” & like . a mess .

idk what else to say for this besides he was really great at recon & apparently was a keyblade wielder in the past ! which subsequently makes me emo on main bc he’s really out here like lmao nah that’s ... it’s cool bt like hm idk sounds like kinda fake u know

again fuck canon if it does u know what

AFTER CASTLE TOWN.

where do i begin , chapter 2

now myde is actually my hc somebody name for demyx so like going off that it technically is his real first name .... he just doesn’t know that bc although he survived this , he didn’t uh really remember his old somebody life so like lmao fuck all honestly this life could be his real life for all he knows

except he does know it isn’t

so like he’s ?? more of a somebody in castle town opposed to a nobody meaning he ! has a whole fucken heart now ! although because his eyes are still indeed gold , he’s kinda like well shit is old man xehanort still in there too

anyway myde lu .. my son ... the memories of castle town life are . something else . he grew up with a single mother who worked odd jobs here and there struggling to make money to provide . so while demyx is like ah fuck working i don’t wanna fucken do this , he got two part time jobs the moment he could to help her out . because even if she isn’t his real mother , it’s ??? really nice to have someone caring ab him :/

he rooms with neko / noriko now because an ad on craigslist bt he still sends some of his paychecks & like whatever money cut he gets from the troubvdours ( also , ironically from a fucken craigslist ad ! ) etc to castle town mom bc honestly life in castle town has kinda uh . made him like . wow wait fuck haha oh man i actually ???? i can’t just nap and play music and do whatever i want ?????? like i mean he still does bt castle town memories / the life he was forced into here made him arguably more responsible even though he is still a little shit and completely at the same time not that responsible in the slightest

it’s like . fake getting ur life together

idk he doesn’t like all the work like he’s exhausted bt it’s paired simultaneously with he ? kinda also doesn’t mind it solely bc there’s like ,, a benefit from it ? like with the two part time jobs ( which one is being a music instructor like i feel as if he doesn’t consider that one much of a job bc he gets to play music !! ) it’s being able to help the poor soul who got stuck as his ‘ caretaker ’ KKDKWJSJSJ and with the band it’s . bc he is passionate ab music and again although exhausting he loves to do it

boy’s chaotic neutral as always bt i suppose castle town is bringing out those hidden good tendencies

hmm he is forever bitter ab the fact he didn’t get his sitar tho .... what the fuck is he gonna do w his stupid organization cloak huh ? my god

so he picked up rhythm guitar bc it’s like . the closest thing without getting an ACTUAL sitar , because ! arpeggios is actually a rhythm technique & that’s what his sitar is named so .... food for thought i suppose . plus this world’s sitar isn’t the same anyway :/

despite being natural blond in game etc i’m making the executive decision to say he was given naturally dark hair in CT & now has to keep bleaching / dying his hair blond bc .... he does not think he suits black hair . nor does he want to . it reminds him too much of like idk xigbar or vanitas or whatever with the dark hair + gold eye combo u feel JDWJJSJSNS

he dated isolde in CT & honestly i suggested it to bloom as a crackship bc haha different bt then it got really soft and really emo so here we are . they close tho now still & she’s the only person he’s opened up to ab his real life / the organization so far !!

he is bi :/ and sad :/ bt honestly mood , i say as i’m pan not bi bt whatever :/

anyway part 500000 , he sleeps at the library sometimes bc big gay still for ienzo and likes to really just hang around them bc he wants them to remember being zexion .... & well . more selfishly he wants them to remember him bt like y a h

+ for the fact i have not really mentioned it : he still loves water iskaksns catch him like . chillin in his bathtub for hours like bitch stop wasting water and the water is FREEZING by the time he does decide he is finished . he misses his water abilities ok . he can probably like move stuff a little bit here and there bt it’s Nothing like before :/ yeah .

idk what else this is a mess !! please plot with me tho uwu xoxo

#castletown.intro #uhhhhh i dont ?? think ?? i need any tws lmao #bt it's also very late rn so i dont know what im doing sorry

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ethanjhake · 5 years ago

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Top 5 KH characters

Oh boy, that's a tough one.

I don't know, I guess it would be:

#1. Sora

He's probably the most well done typical protagonist I can think of, he's brave, compassionate, happy, really he's just a perfect hero. He's even a type of Christ, think about it. He gave himself up and fell into darkness because he loved Kairi (the church) and wanted to save her. He gave her his heart... ring any bells? And then he, Donald and Goofy went to face Ansem knowing that they probably wouldn't ever come back. Sora always puts others before himself, and THAT, is the mark of a hero. (Doesn't matter what Phil thinks)

#2. Naminè

Really Naminè deserves a little more recognition. She's never had a friend in the world, and when she messes with Sora and Riku's memories to think that they're her friends, she has to give all that up and be forgotten. Imagine what that'd do to you emotionally. Ouch. Naminè is so selfless, she has no future, but she keeps pressing on. Other nobodies have the hope that they might get their hearts back, but she doesn't. She's not even really all that good at drawing but she keeps doing it. My Nami Nami is a good girl, and she deserves good friends, a hot cup of coco, a sweater, and a lot of hugs. u_u

#3. Axel

Axel is very full of himself, but he doesn't ever seem to notice the qualities he has that makes me love him��and that's one of them. He's always struggling with his emotions, sense he "shouldn't" have them anyway, but he truly loves Roxas and Xion, and he doesn't know why. See, it's the 'not knowing' that makes Axel so good, he doesn't realize the impact that he has on Roxas and Xion, and he doesn't even realize the impact they have on him until he starts to lose them. I guess what I like about him so much is that he doesn't have to think about being nice before doing it. He's a fireman who saves kittens without realizing it.

#4. Roxas

I just like Roxas. I like the way he worries over Xion while she's in her coma. I like they way he smiles when Axel lets him fly for a bit longer in Neverland. I like they way he yells at Saïx when he calls Xion an 'it' and a 'failure'. I like the way he tries to cheer up Luxord while he's feeling "down". like how he takes on all of Xion's work even though she said he didn't have to. I like that he runs off to buy ice cream to celebrate that Axel wasn't annihilated. I like the way he brakes Riku's wrist in a last desperate attempt to bring Xion back. I like the way he cries when he gives up and tells Sora that he makes a good other. I just like Roxas.

#5. Riku

As a kid I didn't really like Riku because I didn't fully understand his character, but I do now, and now I love him. He starts out as an unstable needy kid who wants to keep his friends safe no matter the cost, but he ends up falling into darkness and turning on Sora to pay that cost. He fails, but he doesn't let that stop him. He learns from his mistake immediately and traps himself in the dark realm to save everyone else. And he just keeps growing from there, he grows in COM, he falls a little in Days, and he grows again in KH2. Riku grows, that's what I like about him. That and he's just so cool.

Now I really don't know that I would put them in this order, but I do think that these five characters are probably my top five, but I don't know who's first or last. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Thank you for the ask!

#ask #answer #kh #kingdom hearts #top five #Sora #Naminè #Axel #Roxas #Riku #anonymous #anon

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succubused · 6 years ago

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25 lea/isa (I needed to see you one last time)

i know it’s all in our minds, but a mind is a powerful thing.- colin cotterill

Axel wavered, as he always did, in his regular moment of clarity in which he wondered whether maybe this was a bad idea, maybe he shouldn’t be going through with it. Maybe it was only going to make things worse. Harder. Messier.

But it was already messy. It was already hard. He was hurting himself. He didn’t care. Falling on this particular sword was a drug to him, one that he didn’t have enough energy to break his dependency on, didn’t have the strength to take away from himself the one thing that could always make him feel like he had any kind of a reason to keep pushing through the days that often did nothing but erode his soul like a caustic rain.

“You’re back.”

“I am.”

“So soon?”

“Guess so.”

This time, the stakes were higher, and at the same time, nonexistent, as the threshold had already been crossed, a point of no return blasted so far into oblivion he wasn’t sure it had ever been anything but an inevitability.

There is someplace I want to go, Naminé had said. And…someone I want to see.

He had more in common with her than he would have liked to admit. And yet it was thanks to her that he had this place at all, in an indirect way. It had been Naminé who had explained, albeit reluctantly, how to sample memories, how to condense them into a form that the castle knew how to read. The cards had always felt too heavy to Axel, as though they were made out of something much denser than paper. And they were, in a way.

Only she could rearrange them, of course. But that was moot at this point. Axel didn’t come here when he wanted to forget.

“It’s not going well, I imagine.”

He chuckled sadly. “No. No, it’s not going well at all.”

They sat leaning against a low wall, watching the fountain’s glittering spray swirl high enough to catch the light of the setting sun. Or was it rising? The lavender haze that had always seemed to hang over the place made it hard to tell. He supposed it didn’t really matter. He supposed the ambiguity of his memories was why it felt this way in the first place.

The air sighed with the same cool breeze he knew from his childhood, and he closed his eyes against it. Radiant Garden no longer existed. Not this one, at least.

His companion turned and blinked at him with green eyes.

No longer existed. Not this one.

“Is there anything you want to talk about?” Isa said.

“No…well, yes, but…”

He sighed and looked down at his hands, realizing they were shaking. It had been so cruel of himself, to bring this particular memory to life. The shade beside him was much younger than the Saïx he knew, only eighteen, if he remembered correctly. Face unscarred. Eyes green. Still smiled with them even when his face was impassive, and his voice was quiet without being angry. He was still sad, as he had always been.

But this version of Saïx had still had hope. This was the Saïx who stormed in circles around Axel’s room, snarling out a plan in between curses that somehow still managed to be cunning and clever and underhanded and incredibly foolish and incredibly brave. That was how Saïx was. That was how Isa was.

Isa smiled and nodded. “Talking to your own memories won’t help?”

“It’s weird when you just say it like that. That whole ‘I’m not real’ thing. Reminds me too much of him.”

“Yes, I can’t imagine why I would possibly remind you of him.”

“Are you—are you making fun of me?”

Isa laughed, and Axel knew he was a shadow. “I am.”

Despite himself, he shook his head and smirked. “I remember you right, then.”

“Oh, yes. Certainly.”

“But you don’t…”

There had been another trick to the cards, the cards that allowed one to transport one memory into another, as long as the former was a specific recollection of a discrete entity. Naminé had been asked to give them the means to perform this action as well due to its utility in combat, and if Axel had been more inclined to be realistic, he would have chosen a memory of Saïx as he was now, cold, harsh, near-feral in battle. The card would have allowed him to be as consumed by Saïx’s rage as he was, and maybe that would have been smarter, maybe he would have been better able to understand him before it had become too late to start trying.

But Axel was not driven by what made sense, and the card he had painstakingly drawn from his own memories was marked with the face of a much younger Saïx. Barely even Saïx at all. It was the memory of someone he had lost, someone he desperately wanted to see.

You and I both miss someone we care about.

Talking to Isa here was better than not talking to him at all, even if it damaged him in ways that he had no words for, to look at him and feel him present and yet both he and the shade were aware that none of it was real. It had never been real.

“You don’t exist,” he said to Isa. “You don’t exist anymore. You’re gone. It kills me to say it, but I think you really are gone.”

Isa watched him with his chin resting on one hand, the other covering Axel’s as if to reassure him. His eyes were sad. Isa had always known grief when he saw it, and he had also been keenly aware of when there was nothing he could do. The memory of him was no different.

“Then why did you come here?” he asked quietly.

“I need—I needed to see you,” Axel said. “One last time.”

“Lea,” the shade said slowly. “What are you planning to do?”

“Don’t call me that, please don’t call me that, Isa—”

“And yet you call me by the name you remember me with. You hadn’t started calling me Saïx yet. Why are the rules different when they are applied to you?”

Axel stared at him and took a deep breath, trying to memorize the face before him. He had not often felt older than Isa, but suddenly the reality of the position they had been in sunk back in. This had been Isa shortly before Xigbar took a knife to his face. He was barely more than a child.

“I miss you.”

The tight feeling in his chest was not tears, but something that wanted to be. He didn’t know anymore what was and wasn’t an emotion. He didn’t remember how to care.

“I miss you so much, Isa, I just—I don’t think I’m gonna come back from this one. I don’t think I want to come back and I—”

“Suicide mission,” Isa murmured. “Explains it.”

“You were—you were the most important thing in the world to me, and I wanted, I wanted to say goodbye. Even if it’s fake and it’s all in my head, I don’t care, I don’t care, I just needed to see your face and tell you that I’m sorry and that I loved you so much and—and that you deserved so much more, and I failed you, and I’m sorry.”

The memory of Isa looked at Axel, and reached up to brush the hair out of his face. “I have your memories of the way you and I were when I was this age, you know.”

“I,” Axel swallowed to stop his voice from breaking, “I assumed you would.”

“He loved you too,” Isa said. “I am only what you remember me as, but the person you remember, he loved you. He loved you so much he was ready to let himself be erased so that you wouldn’t have to be. You are a fool if you believe he ever would have let you take that mark instead of him. I’m certain that you have failed him at other times, judging from what you have told me, but not then. It was a choice he made. He did it for you.”

“Please don’t tell me that.”

“I—he would want you to know.”

“Not the way he is now, I—Isa, I really think he’d just as soon kill me.” Axel looked down. “And I think I’d just as soon let him do it.”

“That isn’t true.”

“You don’t know him.”

“He was here.”

Axel froze, the crushing feeling in his chest both too hot and too cold to bear.

“That’s impossible,” he managed to say.

Isa shook his head. “No,” he said. “Unlikely, yes. He found your cards while you were gone, it seems.”

He went pale, remembering the period between having been ordered to retrieve Roxas and coming back to the castle for the final time. He had left the cards in his room.

Axel tried to imagine Saïx in this place. It felt incongruent, like trying to imagine a hailstorm on a tropical island. Not something impossible or even all that unrealistic, when you think about it. And yet it still felt wrong.

“Did he…say anything to you?”

“To me?” Isa blinked and shook his head. “No. He just asked me where we were and what this was. Who I was. And I told him, and he could barely look at me.” He jerked his head towards the fountain. “He was really only concerned with them.”

“With…” Axel turned to see the two children sitting side by side against the stone, heads (one red, one blue) leaned together in what appeared to be a very serious conversation.

“…he talked to them?”

“He talked to Lea,” the shade corrected him. “ ‘Talked’ might not be the correct word. He sort of just sat there and let Lea talk at him. For a while. And then he put his hands on his shoulders and he said ‘I’m sorry’ and did the same thing to the—younger memory of us. And then he left.”

Axel was silent, staring down at his hands as his fingernails dug deeper into his palms.

“I don’t know what I became,” Isa said. “So I can’t tell you that I know this for certain. But it didn’t feel like the actions taken by a man who wanted you dead. That is all I can give you, Axel. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry. It—well, it makes things worse, if I’m being honest, but—I’m glad that I know.”

“You still intend to go through with it, though?”

“I have to. I’m sorry.” He looked up into the green eyes that had haunted his dreams for years. “I…I’m afraid.”

Isa nodded. “I know. But I’ll be with you until the end.”

“Where will I find you if I can’t come here?”

He laughed. “I can only appear here because the presence of this memory is so strong in your heart. I’ve always been with you. I thought you knew that.”

Always with you.

“When your heart is crushed to pieces and you don’t even know your own name, when you are lost and alone, broken and dying, and there is nothing left to cling to, look into the ruins of your heart. No matter how deep the despair, the memory that keeps your fire burning cannot be destroyed, and you will find me there. I am the memory of the fiercest love you have ever known, and you will find me there every time.”

He took both of Axel’s hands in his own and held on as tightly as a memory could.

“And when you find me, let me bring you back.”

#kingdom hearts #axel #isa #saix #lea #akusai #man this was rough i like......cried multiple times while writing this and im still pretty wrecked #the 'i'm always with you even though i'm gone' trope is like number one way to murder me instantly #posts #thepumpkinmuffin

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liberatingflame · 6 years ago

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LeaIsa Post KH3 Speculation. I have not played KH3 yet. If you spoil me I will have your soul. Working out emotions together after processing nothing for at least ten years. Word Count: 1678 Read it here or on AO3

“I talk too much.”

“Yes, I know that.”

“You used to be really good at shutting me up.”

“I don’t recall ever trying to in good situations.”

“Maybe what I’m remembering was just daydream mixed into real life, then.”

“I have no idea what you’re going on about, Lea.”

“Whatever, it’s nothing. You see any of the kids today? They’ve been asking about you.”

“Have they really?”

“Well, no, but I really think you’d like them if you let them give you a chance.”

“I don’t feel like talking about how I apparently need to prove to people that I’m not who I was under Xehanort’s control. I want to know why you said you talk too much.”

“Well, hah.” Lea’s hand went instinctively to the back of his head, running his fingers through his mess of hair and scratching at his head with an awkward laugh. “It was really just me thinking aloud?”

“About you talking too much?”

“Yeah.”

“You’re not doing much of it now.”

“It’s always because I’m dancing around stuff, isn’t it? I’m better at getting to the point when I have one I want to talk about.”

“Lea.”

“Yeah, yeah. I must want to talk about this, I brought it up.”

“Lea…”

“I’m just being like I was as a kid, it’s gotta be a little pathetic. I get the time to talk to you after you went and nearly died on me.”

“I nearly caused you to die.”

“That’s not true and even if it is, I’m repressing it.”

“That’s not healthy.”

“Yeah, well, I’m joking. I know everything that went down, you don’t have to remind me. You don’t have to prove yourself to anyone, but you have to feel guilty about hurting me? Even the parts that weren’t even physically you?”

“It’s different. And stop changing the subject, Lea. If you don’t get to the point…”

“What are you gonna do, kiss me?”

“No.”

“No?”

“Get to your point.”

“What?”

“I’m waiting for you to make your point.”

“You’re stupid.”

“Excuse me?”

“You’re stupid.”

“Lea, get to your point already.”

“How are you going to stop me from getting off topic?”

“You’re calling me an idiot while you spout out nonsense?”

“Kiss me.”

“What?”

“That’s my point. My point is kiss me.”

“That’s not a point, Lea.”

“I was thinking about when we were kids, we almost got there a few times, but neither of us really could comprehend that the other had a big, stupid crush.”

“I never had a crush on you, don’t be ridiculous.”

“Isa, I’m telling you I had one, so you can take your chance to admit to having one too. I figured it out.”

“It wasn’t like it was a puzzle. I thought I was being obvious.”

“You really weren’t!”

“You weren’t either.”

“I’ve kissed you before.”

“No you haven’t?”

“Your cheek?”

“That happens sometimes.”

“Does it?”

“Alright, not in Radiant Garden, but some places.”

“I’m probably stupid and missed things too, like whenever we went out to the edge of town to sit together. You probably did plenty of stuff to try to clue me in, but I didn’t catch anything either.”

“I just said I thought I was pretty obvious about it.”

“So, now that we’re done being stupid, kiss me.”

“I’m not going to just kiss you now because you told me to. We were children.”

“I still love you.”

“You…”

“I still love you. Never have I had a moment of being Lea where I didn’t love you with my whole heart.”

“What has you being so sappy right now?”

“I want you to kiss me, I already told you.”

“After everything I did?”

“What did you do?”

“I hurt you.”

“What did you do?”

“I hurt you.”

“Do I need to go through a list? Tell you every single thing you did that was too obviously not you? Remind you that neither of us had emotions that were ready to be accessed and understood for years? Remind you that I would’ve died for you? Axel would’ve died for you to get your heart back.”

“Saïx would’ve let him. And stop talking about it as if Saïx wasn’t me. Axel was you, Saïx was me.”

“Saïx was possessed.”

“You seem to think I didn’t have any control over my own body.”

“Isa, I just want you to kiss me.”

“And I want to kiss you.”

“Nothing’s stopping you.”

“We’re finally communicating. I think we need this.”

“Yeah.”

“So. Respond to me.”

“I wasn’t listening.”

“Lea, you are going to drive me crazy one day.”

“Isa, I don’t want to talk, I want to kiss you. That’s the whole point. That’s why I brought you out here like when we were kids. Have a few minutes of talking about things or a few minutes of silence and hope that all leads to you kissing me.”

“You started talking about important things and we haven’t talked about them yet, we need to.”

“You don’t want to talk about it either.”

“We need to.”

“You don’t want to.”

“You’re right, but we should.”

“Kiss me.”

“No.”

“We can always talk later.”

“I never said I still like you like that.”

“We both know you do.”

“... Yes, well, we should still do the healthy thing for once.”

“I don’t have it in me right now, Isa. You don’t have to kiss me, I just don’t have it in me to talk after everything that happened. Maybe in a few days, maybe if it was just one trauma ago, but I just can’t do it right now.”

Lea could see guilt washing over Isa’s face as if it was entirely his fault Lea couldn’t find the words to talk about what they’d both done. He’d just wanted to come out here and talk about their feelings for each other, not about all the situations they’d found themselves in since they died the first time. Logically, he knew they were all intertwined in a way that neither of them could really avoid, but he’d hoped they could just skip a few steps and just exist around each other.

He could feel the discomfort in the silence he’d caused, he could feel everything and that was the problem. Why was it that he always longed for the return of something that he knew hurt him? It was part of recovery, getting past that, but that was a long ways away, he knew it was. He wasn’t going to get better overnight, not even when he could see Isa whenever he wanted.

“You know I don’t blame you for any of what happened, right?”

“I realize that, but you should,” Isa said in a cool, even tone. Repressing emotions seemed to have become his natural state upon his return to himself. Lea knew it was from Isa having a difficult time coming back to himself as only himself, especially after years of being lied to. The final year was probably the most rough on Isa’s ability to emote, but that was just Lea’s guess. Being denied the chance to return to yourself when other people were able to sounded horrible. “I should be hated by all of you. I ordered deaths that-”

“C’mon, Isa, neither of us are really all that sorry.”

“I am. About Ienzo.”

“Oh. Well, I can’t say that I am. Not really. Call me bitter, but killing Vexen was cathartic. Killing Zexion wasn’t the same, but it worked out in the end. I didn’t exactly feel bad for helping them come back. You shouldn’t either, we both did shit when we were nobodies, it was us, but we were empty and felt that emptiness. Not to mention that we were lied to and murdered.”

“I finally saw the puppet’s… the girl’s face. Xion’s. It makes sense that you were protective of her now. I was unaware that replicas could develop their own personalities.”

“That’s on me.” Lea took in a breath and let it out slowly. “I didn’t report back about the replica Vexen made of Riku developing his own personality because I felt… bad. About the way we all treated him… and I didn’t have it in me to really know yet, I certainly wasn’t able to come to terms with it.”

“You say you felt bad treating the replica poorly, but not for killing someone you knew and worked with?”

“Isa, it’s… you know it’s complicated. If I admit I feel bad about one, but not the other, especially now that everyone’s on one side again and everything’s over… What kind of person does that make me?”

“One who’s been wronged.”

“You didn’t see Vexen.”

“You’re right, I didn’t. We were talking about how you felt bad for one and not the other? You feel bad about Vexen and not Zexion?”

“No. No, fuck. I feel bad about Ienzo.”

“And Vexen was nothing?”

“No, I’m not saying that.”

“You seem to be.”

“Fuck, Isa, I don’t want to talk about this. I really don’t. Can we please, please just talk about us if we’re going to talk.”

“I haven’t been directing this conversation enough for you to not be able to bring us up again. Though, I don’t want to talk about us as much as you don’t want to talk about this.”

“I just wanted to be with you. Feel things that should be familiar and better again now that I can look at you and see you.” Lea spoke uncharacteristically quietly. “I don’t want to think about every piece of guilt eating me up from inside, I just want to look at you. Feel your heart beating next to mine. Stop thinking entirely and just feel how close we are to being back.”

“... I still don’t think that’s entirely healthy.”

“I don’t care what’s-”

“But I understand.”

“Can you please just…”

“Kiss you?”

Lea nodded and finally, after letting more pain out than Lea had wanted to, Isa leaned over and cupped his jaw. Their lips finally touched and Lea could swear he could hear nothing but their hearts beating.

#kingdom hearts #leaisa #akusai #lea #isa #kh #my writing #this is what i was saying i blacked out while writing #i don't remember writing well over half of this #and the rest that i do i still kinda #wasn't totally there while writing #after reassurance i am now weirdly happy with it

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atomic-taco-muffin · 3 years ago

Text

The Lost Princess Chapter 70

Warnings: Me, skipping to saving Aqua b/c the anticipation was killing me, also fluff/angst

Rating: SFW

In the Badlands on the outskirts of the Keyblade Graveyard, Marluxia and Larxene stood atop thirteen pillars of earth.

“So, why are you back?” Marluxia asked.

“Nice way to greet your old partner in crime,” Larxene said. Marluxia gave a small laugh at the title. “So, why do you think the old geezer took us back? He must know we backstabbed the Organization when Xemnas and Muki were running it.”

“Xehanort doesn't care about you or me. To him, we're nothing but empty husks. The old Organization was the same. Xehanort needs thirteen vessels to hold his essence. And let’s not forget him wanting that Spirit.”

“Which one? There’s like 4 of them.”

“You know which one.”

“Oh. Her. But that girl has slipped through our hands multiple times. There’s no way she’ll submit. Especially with that pathetic team of hers. So, you up for another coup?” Larxene gave him a coy smile.

“Oh, please. You couldn't do it last time. You gotta play it smart, like me,” someone said. They looked over to another pillar, where a man with blond hair was holding a large sitar.

“What?! You're not smart!” Larxene said.

“Well, you heard what Marly said. I don't have to be smart,” Demyx smirked.

“Or capable, or likeable, or attractive. A cereal bowl would make a better vessel.” Demyx tuned his sitar strings while Larxene roasted him.

“Whoa now, you are WAY out of line. I am extremely imposing...when I want to be. Which is, admittedly, almost never,” he said.

“Why haven't you gone to any worlds? Are you slacking?”

“'Course not. I got benched.”

“Huh?

“Saïx brought Vexen on board. They must be planning to use replicas,” Marluxia said.

“Those windup toys?”

“Oh, no. The replicas are way more real than you remember. I mean, one stole my spot!” Larxene burst into laughter. (her laugh is so hot! fight me!)

“OF COURSE it stole your spot. You're dumb as a brick,” she said.

“Har-dee-har,” Demyx said.

“Vexen's latest replicas are no mere puppets. The Riku replica we used in Castle Oblivion was just a prototype. The next replica, the one crafted from Sora's memories, was real enough to join our ranks. And Vexen claims the new ones will be human in every way. If he ever finishes them,” Marluxia said.

“Oh... The thing is...I kinda told Sora and his nitwits that we're ready. My bad,” Larxene said.

“Let them believe as such.” A dark corridor opened to reveal Queen Muki.

“Ugh. Muki,” Larxene said.

“If they think that we have all thirteen darknesses, then they will panic. And panic leads to a lack of preparation,” Muki said.

“Yeah, totally,” Demyx said.

“Why is thing a member again?” Larxene asked as she pointed to Demyx.

“Hey now! Pointing is rude.”

“The first six members of the original Organization were all apprentices to Ansem the Wise, and the seventh and eighth members joined thereafter. The thirteenth member was Roxas, a Keyblade wielder. So. What about you? How do you suppose Xemnas and I chose numbers nine through twelve?” Muki said.

“Because our hearts are über powerful,” Larxene said.

“Wrong. You have been brought together for another purpose.”

“What? So that we can rot away on the bottom rung?” someone asked. A man with short blond hair and multiple earrings appeared on the pillar adjacent to Demyx.

“You're in too? What is this, Organization Rehash?” Larxene sighed.

“I happen to play an important role. No one ‘benched’ me,” Luxord said.

“You were listening? So not cool,” Demyx said.

“One must hold one's cards as long as necessary.”

“What ‘important role’? That stupid box that Xigbar claims is real, but won't tell us a thing about? And what’s the deal with this ‘Princess’?” Larxene asked.

“You'll just have to ask Xigbar that,” Luxord said as he played with his cards. “Now then, Your Majesty, what is this ‘purpose’? You didn't invite us back for old times' sake.”

“You four are going to reveal your greatest secret: the ancient Keyblade legacy that slumbers within you,” Muki said. They each reacted with surprise and skepticism as Muki gave a breathy, hyena-like laugh.

In the Woods of Twilight Town, just outside the Old Mansion, a corridor of darkness appeared and Lady Elena strolled out of it, followed by Ansem the Wise. From behind a tree, Hayner, Pence and Olette watched.

“It's about time!” Pence said.

“Look! There’s mom!” Olette said.

“Heeey, shut it! C'mon,” Hayner said. He moved ahead as the two skulk behind him. As Ansem the Wise and Elena walk into the courtyard, the trio peeked out from behind the gate. Ansem the Wise stopped just before the entrance door, forcing Elena to turn around.

“What now?” she asked. Ansem the Wise looked up to the curtained window.

“Please. I have created enough victims,” he said.

“Yes, you have. All the children sacrificed in the name of your research... So make things right,” Elena said.

“I told you I did not take her. Her disappearance was why I put a stop to the research.”

“And that makes you honorable? You used Roxas and Naminé and threw them away. I doubt there's a merciful bone in your body. You took the girl, and hid her. Now, show me the data you are hiding here.”

“Roxas and Naminé... If there is any reason that I still draw breath, it is to atone for what I did to them. But, would your daughter want to see this?”

“She’s already seen enough. Along with my other kids.” Olette and Pence gasped.

“She’s talking about us,” Pence said.

“And Roxas,” Olette said.

“Yeah,” Hayner said.

“That man needs us,” Olette said.

“Right. And we need to get that Negaverse thing out of mom,” Hayner said.

“Yeah,” Pence said.

“If you do find the girl, what is it that you expect will happen?” Ansem the Wise asked.

“The child's memory holds a mystery to unravel--one concerning the battle we seek between light and darkness. You know something and that... is why you stopped the experiments,” Elena said.

“You are completely deluded, M’Lady.”

“We shall soon see.” She grabbed Ansem the Wise's shoulder and pushed him toward the door before Pence popped in.

“Yoo-hoo!” he said. Elena stopped. “'Scuse meee!”

Elena whirled around at this interruption.

“Pence, what are you doing here?” she growled.

“Oh, well, I'm looking for a friend who used to live here.”

“You live here. Unless your father moved somewhere else, then it’s not working.” Pence’s distraction enabled Olette to run inside the courtyard.

“But mom...” Pence stalled as he stepped closer.

“No, no, no! Not one more step. Get out!” Elena said. As she walked toward Pence, Olette rushed and grabbed Ansem the Wise.

“This way!” she whispered. Elena spun around, seeing Ansem the Wise escaping as Hayner ran in, attempting to jump kick her from behind.

“Oi!” he cried. Elena summoned Anti-Nyx and it caught Hayner with its paws. “...or not!”

“Hayner!” Pence cried. Anti-Nyx tossed Hayner at the brick wall of the courtyard but a strange white blob curled around him and cushioned the blow. He bounced to the ground safely. More white blobs flew through the air from behind corners, like wispy trails. They surrounded Elena and Anti-Nyx, revealing themselves as Dusk Nobodies.

“The squiggly things?” Pence asked. It uncurled from Hayner as he sat up in disbelief.

“They...protected me,” he said. Pence grabbed Hayner's arm.

“Hayner! Get a move on!” he said.

“Oh... Okay.” Pence helped Hayner up and the two ran back to the Woods. Elena focused her attention on the Dusks.

“I serve the Organization. This is treason,” she sneered. “I see what is happening. Have it your way then.”

Olette and Ansem the Wise escaped to the Underground and Hayner and Pence caught up.

“Are you guys okay?” Olette asked as the two boys caught their breath.

“Yeah, I think,” Hayner said.

“Nobody knows the twists and turns of Twilight Town better than us,” Pence said.

“You are Roxas's friends. And Lady Elena’s children,” Ansem the Wise said.

“That's right. So you know him, too?” Hayner said.

“Oh yes. Quite well.”

“Pay dirt. Guess it was worth staking out our house after all, because this guy here is what I call a lead,” Pence said. He reached into his pocket and took out the photo of them together with Roxas.

“That's the only proof we have that Roxas was our friend,” Olette said.

“Tell us about him. We wanna know him better,” Hayner said.

“My dear master. You are safe,” a cloaked man said as he appeared behind them.

“Who's there?” Hayner asked. They whirled around, seeing the scientist with blond hair.

“Even, is that you? So...those Nobodies were your doing,” Ansem the Wise said. The wispy blobs floated in behind Vexen and became Dusks again. Their appearance unsettled the trio. However, Vexen bowed his head.

“I have been waiting for this. Gave up a normal life in order to plant myself in the Organization. And when I heard Xehanort had gone looking for you, I realized it was my chance to find you as well. For you see, I, too, wish to atone. I also want to protect the royal bloodline,” he said.

“Royal bloodline?” Pence asked.

“I see. If it’s (Y/N) you’re protecting then I shall help you,” Ansem the Wise said.

“Huh?!” Hayner, Pence, and Olette asked.

“Not just her,” Vexen said.

~~~~

You and your team flew in the Gummi Ship, not knowing where to go next. Sora's Gummiphone started to ring and Jiminy leapt into his shoulder as he pulled it out.

“Sora, somebody's callin' us on the Gummiphone,” Jiminy said. You and the others walked to Sora's chair and Sora answered the call. Dale appeared on the screen way too close to the camera.

“We got baaad news,” he said.

“Huh?” Sora asked. Chip yanked Dale away from the camera.

“We totally lost contact with the King and Riku! They're all on their own in the realm of darkness!” he said.

“Whaaat?!” you and your team asked.

“See? I knew I shoulda gone!” Sora said.

“Chip, how do we get to 'em?” you asked.

“NOW we can ask?”

“It's not like we can use that big old door anymore. It's completely gone,” Goofy said.

“Yeah, we closed it after beating Ansem’s Negaverse,” Donald said.

“And we certainly can't ask the King or Riku,” Vanitas said.

“'Cause you wouldn't LET me ask,” Sora said. Dale pushed Chip out of the way.

“Only King Mickey can open a door to the realm of darkness,” he said.

“Huh?” you and your team asked. Chip pushed Dale away and Jiminy hopped down.

“It's because he has a special Keyblade of darkness. He figured out how to make it open the way,” Chip said.

“Oh...” Sora sighed.

“Gawrsh, what'll we do then?” Goofy asked. You and the others groaned.

“May my heart be our guiding key. It'll show us the way,” Sora said. He stood and summoned the Keyblade, aiming it ahead of him. The tip glowed and a portal opened outside the ship.

“A gate!” you and your team said. Sora put away the Keyblade.

“But where does it lead?” Celina asked.

“It doesn't matter! Go!” Roxy said.

“Hurry, Sora!” Rumi said.

“Okay,” Sora said. He sat at the controls and piloted the ship through the wormhole, the portal closing behind you all with a ripple. The bright warm sun shined down on the sandy beaches of the Destiny Islands. You and your team walked along the seashore.

“Why do you think that gate took us here?” you asked. Walking further down the beach, Sora came upon a Keyblade in the sand, the teeth of the blade forming the shape of an 'E'. Sora knelt down and picked it up.

“A Keyblade?” Vanitas asked.

“It looks so old,” Yui said.

“It looks familiar,” Celina said. Sora held it in both hands, looking it over.

“How did it end up here?” he asked.

“Hmm, maybe it's another guiding key,” Goofy said.

“Sure, but to guide us where?” Sora aimed it forward and a beam erupted from the blade, striking a corner of the beach where a tree met a rockface. The area glowed, revealing a door. You and your rushed over to it.

“A door!” you said.

“Let’s go,” Donald said. Sora closed his eyes, steeling himself.

“Not you guys,” he said.

“Huh?” you and your team asked.

“Well, (Y/N) and Celina can come I guess.”

“Hell yeah, we’re coming!” you said.

“We understand, but we don't want you goin' someplace dangerous on your own,” Goofy said.

“Thanks, guys. But we'll be fine. We'll make sure Riku and the King are safe. Trust us,” Sora said.

“Besides, I know the Realm of Darkness better than you guys,” Celina said. You, Sora, and Celina smiled and the others exchanged concerned looks. They nodded softly to each other.

“You promise to be good?” Vanitas asked.

“And come home nice and safe?” Goofy asked.

“Right,” you, Sora, and Celina said. The three of you turned around and entered the Secret Place. In the Dark World...

“Riku, look!” Mickey said. The Demon Tower wriggled in the air, bending over and twisting into Riku, knocking the Keyblade from his arms. It dissipated when it hits the sand.

“Riku!” Mickey gasped. The swarm of Heartless knocked Mickey off his feet and he also dropped his Keyblade, consumed by the swarm. Riku lifted himself up.

“Mickey!” he cried. The Demon Tower coalesced under swirling winds into an orb of darkness before Riku's very eyes. Purple fragments gathered within the orb, pushing out of it. The bubble burst and a dark figure leapt out landing on the gray sand. King Mickey watched from his prison in the orb as the dark figure walked toward his Keyblade, picking it up.

“This Keyblade...” Mickey gasped at the familiar voice.

“Is it her?” he asked. The darkness peeled away at the woman, revealing blue hair.

“Mickey...” she said as she turned, revealing her yellow eyes. “You're too late.”

“Aqua?” Riku asked.

“You abandoned me, that's what. Left me in this shadow prison for more than a decade, knowing what it would do to me...Celina was here with me but even she left.”

‘Celina? Who’s Celina?’ Riku thought.

“I'm sorry. It's all my fault,” Mickey said. Anti-Aqua turned and walked to the shoreline.

“I reached this shore after endless wandering. Waited forever for help to arrive. But no one ever came,” she said as she walked over the water. “I lost my Keyblade. Had no means of fighting my way back through the Heartless. You should have known I was stranded. Do you have any idea how lonely it is here? How frightening it is to have no one?”

Riku clenched his fist in the sand.

“All that's left in my heart is misery and despair...and now, you can share it!” Anti-Aqua said. Riku walked toward her.

“There's no need. Got my own,” he said. In Riku's heart, a version of Riku from the past wearing the dark clothes of his possessed self walked to his side, the Riku Replica. In his hand he held a special Keyblade, the Way to the Dawn. He looked over at Riku and smirked, before vanishing into particles of light. Riku clenched his fist again and summoned his Keyblade, walking over the water after Aqua. The orb holding Mickey floated over the water between them, becoming a swirling mass of Shadow Heartless once more. He struck at the swirling mass, sending Shadows flying left and right. The Demon Tower took on a purple aura and splashed downward, the Heartless's eyes glowing red, as Anti-Aqua appeared, raising the Keyblade in her hands.

“Enough!” she cried. She summoned large icy spikes, sending them careening toward Riku, before releasing the Demon Tower once again. Riku landed back on the water, breathing heavily.

“Sora...(Y/N)...” he said. A light shined from above and a door appeared, the same door from the Destiny Islands. You, Sora, and Celina soared in, landing with a splash on the water.

“We made it!” you smiled. Celina looked at you and noticed that you had a keyblade in your hand.

(yes, it’s Ira’s Keyblade)

“(Y/N), look,” she said. You looked at your hand and saw that there was your father’s Keyblade in your hands.

“Wow...” you said. Riku smiled and dispelled his Keyblade as the Demon Tower swirled in front of you all. The four of you held your arms out together, emanating a brilliant white light. Above, three colorful Keyblades and Celina’s trident, Unicornis, Nightmare's End, and Mirage Split joined together to form a giant three-handled blade. The four of you lifted your arms, raising the powerful Keyblade and trident, which glowed with a warm light. The four of your threw your arms forward and the light washed over the Demon Tower, dispersing the Shadows inside. They released Mickey from their hold, sending him falling to the beach with a shout. Riku rushed over to him and Anti-Aqua raced after him. She raised the Keyblade as Riku summoned his just in time but you stopped Ant-Aqua before she could attack. The blades clashed, sending up a gigantic splash. As the misting water fell away, you were holding back Aqua's Keyblade from Riku, sparks flying from the blades' contact. Riku stood with his mouth agape. Anti-Aqua leapt backward. You looked back at Riku, giving him a reassuring smile, which Riku returned. Sora and Celina ran over to you to give you a helping hand.

“How, (Y/N)?” Riku asked.

“No idea! But I ain’t questioning it!” you said.

“Watch over the King. We've got this,” Sora said.

“Okay,” Riku said. He rushed back to Mickey as You, Sora, and Celina dispelled the Master's Defender in favor of your and Sora’s own Keyblades to face down Anti-Aqua. She teleported over the water, sending a strike of dark energy in the four of yours direction. She spiraled on the water, summoning a dark Blizzard spell. Two identical clones appeared wielding the same spell, closing in on Sora. They release shards of ice that whiz by your, Celina, and Sora's head, just missing the three of you, before encircling the three of you in a glowing snowflake. The three of you narrowly dodged, but was struck by an icicle. The three of you ran forward, but Anti-Aqua teleported three times in succession, causing three of you to miss with each strike. For a moment, the three of you saw no one on the water, waiting with bated breath, but then the three of you turned your heads. She walked slowly away from you three.

“Shouldn't have abandoned me...” she said. Celina took a risky move and ran towards Aqua.

“Celina!” you and Sora cried. Celina grabbed Anti-Aqua and crashed her lips onto hers.

“Huh?!” you and the others asked, surprised. Anti-Aqua melted in the kiss and felt the darkness melt away from her. A beam of light surrounded you all and you were all brought back to the Realm of Light. Aqua broke the kiss and looked around.

“Are these...the Destiny Islands?” she asked.

“That’s right,” you said. Aqua looked over and saw you.

“(Y/N)...” she said.

“Hi, auntie,” you smiled. She ran over to you and got a good look at you.

“My have you grown!” she said. You gave a small chuckle and wrapped her in a hug.

“I missed you so much!” you said.

“Me too,” she said. After catching up with everyone else, you and the others went to go find Ventus.

To be continued...

#kingdom hearts #kingdomhearts #kingdom hearts 3 #kingdom hearts iii #khiii #kh 3 #kingdom hearts imagine #kingdom hearts imagines #kingdom hearts x reader #kingdomhearts x reader #kingdomhearts imagines #kingdomhearts iii #kingdomhearts 3

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nadziejastar · 5 years ago

Note

How do you think Axel would have been viewed if he was a woman, but otherwise written exactly the same?

I think a female Lea (Leah?) would have been very popular. She’d be a breath of fresh air considering how stereotypical most female characters are. She’d have as many fanboys as Lea does fangirls. I don’t think she would have been shipped with Roxas as much, though. I just don’t think it would have been as popular if it weren’t a yaoi pair with an uke and seme. If anything, I think people would have assumed she was a lesbian, lol. But that’s just my speculation. I think her relationship with Saix would have been far more acceptable to see as romantic if she’d been female, whether Saix was male or female. Female/Female relationships are just more socially acceptable. If Axel had been a girl, I’d still like her with Isa.

Lea the Crybaby

“Even if we don’t see each other, it’s more important that we think about each other all the time, anyway, right? …Got it memorized?”

Roxas grinned. “It doesn’t suit you, saying things like that.”

Those words were meant to make them feel better, but… if I went into that, I’d look weak. “Shaddap,” said Axel, looking away.

Xion laughed. Roxas found it funny too, and he started to laugh.

“Is it that funny?!” Axel asked almost unconsciously.

Roxas and Xion stopped laughing for a moment, but when they looked at each other, they burst out laughing again.

If Axel had been a girl, he wouldn’t have to be written or perceived any differently. I don’t think there’s anything about his personality that couldn’t have been possible in a female character. Heck, I think many aspects of him would have been more accepted as a female character. If he were female, he would have been perceived differently, though.

And because of that, he wouldn’t have been robbed of all his emotional depth in KH3. As a Nobody, Axel had balls of steel. He smiled even as he was disappearing. He always smiled through the worst pain. He was a total hardass. It’s a big reason why he became so popular. Most of the male fans I know in real life liked Axel because he was a total badass in Castle Oblivion. And he was. He was cold and ruthless and COOL. All of that is fine in female characters, too.

“I want everybody I meet to remember me. Inside people’s memories, I can live forever.”

“I know I won’t forget you. Believe me, I try all the time,” Isa replied with a bit of humor in his tone.

“See? I’m immortal!”

“You’re obnoxious.”

But Axel was not naturally cold and badass. He became that way because he was VERY sensitive. He was a very multi-dimensional character. You can especially see it in the novels. He was so softhearted that he became desensitized to pain. That’s how he was able to smile all the time. In BBS, you can see he’s not really “badass”. He’s a huge dork that gets teased by Isa. I’ve seen some fans (mostly male) dislike the direction they took him in Days and BBS because he seemed too nice. But that’s the real Lea. A kindhearted, lovable, childish dork.

On the sofa opposite him, Naminé spoke up instead. “Sora and Riku are best friends.”

Axel’s eyes crinkled as he remembered his own best friend—the only friend he’d ever had, in fact.

“If your best friend goes away, you’re sad, and if you get to be with them, you’re happy,” Naminé added. “Isn’t that how it is, Axel?”

“…That’s about the size of it.” Axel nodded and sat down on the remaining empty sofa, staring at the sea-salt ice cream he held.

“So you are capable of sincerity,” said Riku.

Axel only shrugged at the jab and finished his ice cream pop.

I think Axel became more flat and was reduced to mainly comic relief in KH3 specifically because the KH3 team was afraid of the backlash they might receive if they did what they were originally gonna do with him. The were scared to go all the way and take his story to its natural conclusion because he’s male. Probably because it would change the way people perceived him. He’s not really as cool and badass as people thought. If he had been female, this side of his personality would have been embraced. But as a male, it was much more difficult to pull off, and ultimately, Square was too cowardly to do it.

He’d never deluded himself that tracking down Riku would be easy, and neither had Saïx. It was just that if he went back and reported that he couldn’t find anything, he would have to deal with those attempts at “personality”—the sneers, the snide remarks, the only trappings of human emotion that Saïx ever showed. Not that Saïx was even capable of annoyance or disappointment, of course, what with the lack of a heart and all.

Heading up the slope to the station, Axel bit into the ice cream bar. “This stuff is so salty,” he murmured to himself, as he often did.

Axel was a very deep character. He had many sides. Kanemaki was a writer on Days and I think she had a lot to do with how fleshed out he became. Due to his trauma, he appeared to be very stoic and other times very carefree. But deep down, he was very vulnerable. He hated showing it. He hated it when people saw him cry. He hid his feelings very well. Roxas and Xion never saw the emotional side of him. And many fans didn’t either. Axel was still smiling the last time he saw Roxas in person, when he said let’s meet again in the next life. He only cried for the first time in KH2FM. The scene didn’t go too far. It was ambiguous if Roxas could even tell Axel was crying. Axel never allowed himself to showed true vulnerability with Roxas.

“Let’s meet again in the next life.”

At those words spoken with just a hint of a smile, Roxas nodded quietly.

“Yeah. I’ll be waiting.”

There was something funny about Roxas’ serious answer, and Axel laughed.

Same with Kairi. And that was the problem. Axel/Lea was more emotional in KH3. He had a heart, so it’s only natural. He cried with Kairi, but ran away afterwards. When he reunited Roxas and Xion, he cried again. But IMO, that wasn’t the catharsis he really needed. He was still bottling a lot of strong feelings up. He never has a scene where he has to confront his emotional baggage and deal with it. He never had to deal with the fact that he was using Roxas as an emotional crutch for much deeper issues.

Then someone else spoke behind him. “I’ve been waiting for you, Axel.”

“Yeah, I figured you’d show up.” His smirk turned nastier as he turned to see Saïx. He didn’t take his eyes off the other man as he spoke to the girl in the cage.

His final fight was robbed of almost all emotion. It didn’t feel like he had anything to fight for. He lacked passion or a strong purpose. Look how many people say that Lea shouldn’t have even gotten a Keyblade. The fight wasn’t for Axel and Saix to finally settle their issues. It felt more like Roxas and Xion were the stars. Then the stupid Subject X crap was shoehorned in.

Lea is mostly known in KH3 for having a few quips where he breaks the fourth wall. His humor was allowed to be played up as much as possible. But, he wasn’t allowed much genuine emotion. Despite having a heart, he felt more hollow than ever in many ways. His reunion with Roxas and Xion was…cute? I guess? To me it felt forced. Lea still acted kinda “meh”. Roxas and Xion were crying, and he was still trying to play it cool. He was never allowed to take his mask off. He still never had true a moment of emotional catharsis.

You’re ultimately still a crybaby, but you don’t need the marks anymore.

The truth is, Lea needed a resolution where he wasn’t forced into the cool and aloof big brother role. It’s why the Roxas and Xion reunion didn’t provide any closure to his character arc. Lea wasn’t really aloof, like he acted on Day 96. He was super emotional. He needed someone to be truly 100% vulnerable with. The only character to know that side of Lea was Isa. And it’s obvious that “Lea the crybaby” is something that revolved around his relationship with Isa more than anyone. It’s mentioned in Isa’s Character File story.

The sunset stung my eyes. I’ve been a bit of a crybaby lately. I wonder if it’s because the upside-down tear charm is gone.

And also Lea’s Character File story called “I Will Not Forget You”. His character arc in KH3 was “resolved” by hastily reuniting with Roxas and Xion and “working it out” with Saix. But…it really wasn’t resolved at all.

Axel suddenly broke his silence. “Well, even if things change, we’ll never be apart—”

“—As long as we remember one another,” Xion finished. “Right?”

The day the ‘Winner’ stick was finally mentioned, it’s called “Sunset” and Axel told them they’d never be apart. He was acting like nothing was wrong, even though he knew there was barely any time left for them to be together. He never let Roxas and Xion know how sentimental he was. On Xion’s “Day 6″ she disappeared. It was called “Tears”. That’s the day Axel finds the white envelope with the stick in it.

Maybe, this is the last time I’ll see Saix, too.

Thinking, Axel looked at the seated Saix’s back. “We’ve known each other for a pretty long time, haven’t we?”

Ignoring Axel’s words, Saix continued typing on the keyboard.

“Say something. Have you even thought that maybe I can’t erase Roxas?” Axel said, in a playful tone, and Saix finally looked up. “It’ll be all right. ‘Cause I’m tough.” Axel puffed out his chest.

“How stupid,” said Saix, and for a moment he smiled. “Let’s hurry up and prepare. Time is limited. The hero will wake up soon, too. I’ll send you in right in front of Roxas.”

“Okay.”

Axel stood in front of the sending device. Saix rested his finger on the button.

“I’m off the~n!” Waving to Saix, Axel’s figure disappeared.

On Roxas’s “Day 6″, Axel had a very emotional exchange with Saix after looking at the white envelope. He was bonding with Saix just before he attempted to eliminate Roxas. He joked with Saix about it. That sends a very powerful message about the nature of Axel’s feelings for Saix. Axel was emotionally dependent on him. Saix thought Axel didn’t need him anymore, but that simply wasn’t true. He did. It’s obvious to me that the ‘Winner’ stick was meaningful to Axel due to his relationship with Isa more than anyone. That stick was a symbol of Lea’s tears. Yet…it was never even mentioned in KH3. Saix only briefly glanced at it just before he mentioned that Axel’s tear marks were gone. The rest is left to your imagination.

“Oh, c’mon, it’s not that funny!” Axel scolded.

They paused, looked at each other, and giggled again.

“I don’t know why I put up with this…”

“But, I mean…it just didn’t sound like you, Axel.” Xion could barely hold in laughter long enough to get the words out.

A wish that they could always be together—was longing for the impossible. But at least they could always remember one another.

I think it was hinting that Isa originally given him that stick. It was probably so Lea would always remember him, even when he was gone. Lea cried that day. A LOT. Just like Roxas finally shed tears when Xion was gone, leaving behind nothing but the shell. Lea’s feelings for Isa were as powerful as Roxas’s feelings for Xion.

Axel became numb by the time he became a Nobody. Then he started to grow a heart again. That’s what his entire arc in Days was about. These extremely powerful feelings for Isa got totally ignored in KH3, though. Changing Lea’s arc with Isa robbed him of all his emotional depth. It really, truly did. It hurt his character SO much. Lea had nobody to be vulnerable with. Most people could tell Axel/Lea was handled poorly in KH3, even if they weren’t not sure what exactly was missing.

I chose to disappear because I did not want to become what Xemnas had planned for me. Therefore, I had no regrets. I remember disappearing in front of the clock tower while Roxas held me. Roxas also went to sleep afterwards, leaving Axel alone. The person who probably suffered the most was Axel. Because he’s the one who forgot the most. Being forgotten and forgetting, they’re both painful.

What was missing was genuine emotion and vulnerability. Lea’s resolution in KH3 needed to be emotional. WAAAAY more emotional than a quick hug with Roxas and Xion, then going back to being comic relief and breaking the fourth wall. He needed to bawl his eyes out. Even in Xion’s Character File, she said he had more pain than her or Roxas. He needed to finally drop his cool big brother exterior and show his pain. Isa needed to be the one to comfort the “crybaby” and let him know he never forgot about him.

Lea needed a lot more from Isa than just him grudgingly admitting he was jealous and dismissively telling him to stop crying. Lea needed a shoulder to cry on. Someone he could show his weakness to. That’s something Roxas and Xion could not offer him. Without that, his character did not really grow in KH3. He remained the same as he was in Days. Static.

I think the whole idea of Lea’s character was changed because it was too “gay”. Square/Disney we’re afraid of a character like Lea. A male character with a powerful emotional arc revolving around the tears he shed for another man. The story of Axel tear drops got dropped like a hot potato in favor of some stupid retcon with Skuld. If Axel had been female, nobody would care about the subplot with Subject X. Everyone would have been clamoring for more details about how and why she got her tear marks.

#akusai #leaisa #kh lea #kh axel

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talinexa · 6 years ago

Text

Don’t You Remember? - One Shot

I haven’t actually gotten far enough in the series to know Axel’s backstory apart from the fact that he was friends with Saïx but I only know that because my best friend told me so I kinda made this up for the drama. Most of this takes place sometime during Days.

“Axel?” I shouted, running around the castle in a panic. “Axel?!”

A pair of hands caught my shoulders, arresting my momentum. “What’s wrong, Talinexa?”

I shook my head. “I need to find Axel,” I said. Saïx stared at me as I pulled away from his grip and went rushing off. “AXEL!” My long coat flapped behind me as I ran around. Axel’s room was empty. As was his usual hang out spots in the castle. The commons. The kitchen. Sitting on the exposed pipes near the ceiling. “Where could he be?!” I hissed under my breath as I searched.

“Who are you looking for?” a voice asked from behind me. A familiar one.

“Roxas! I’m looking for Axel. Seen him anywhere? He’s not on a mission, is he?”

“No he got back from his mission earlier. Couple hours ago. Is he not getting some rest?”

“If he is, he’s crashed in a corridor somewhere because his room is empty,” I said.

“We’ll find him. Let’s keep looking. What’s wrong?”

“It’s...” I strangled the words None of your business before they could escape my throat. “It’s about my... abilities. Organization members are supposed to have... unique talents. And... I think something wrong happened. Because mine aren’t unique among the Organization.”

“Meaning?” Roxas asked, poking his head into the library as we passed it.

“I can’t really demonstrate inside,” I said.

“Wasn’t asking you to. You can just tell me, you know,” Roxas remarked. I glared at the window at the end of the hallway for a moment, reining in my temper.

“I’m like Axel,” I admitted.

“I hope not. One is enough,” Roxas joked.

“I just mean... I’ve... got... my special skill is fire,” I said. “Just like Axel.” I hung my head as I poked it into another room.

Roxas paused our search. “Seriously? That’s cool.”

“But... without me being unique... it means the Organization won’t have any use for me. They’ll just eliminate me without a second thought,” I said.

“That’s not necessarily true. As long as you’re useful, you should be fine,” Roxas reasoned.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, look at me and Xion. We can both use Keyblades, and that’s our only talent, but we’re both still here,” Roxas said. “Axel? You in here?”

“Heeey, Roxas! Oh. And Talinexa. What are you two doing here?”

“She’s been looking for you,” Roxas said.

Axel eyed me curiously, folding his arms over his ribs and raising one bright red brow. “That right?”

“Uh-huh.” I nodded.

“What’s the problem?” Axel looked... irritated.

“What do you mean?”

“You never come looking for me---or anybody---unless you have a problem. So what is it?”

I sighed. “Axel... I...”

“She’s got fire power too,” Roxas put in.

“Thank yooouuu, Roxas,” I snapped sarcastically.

He snapped a finger-gun at me. “No prob, Talinexa!”

Axel stared at me. “You’ve... got fire powers too?”

I nodded timidly.

With a few exceptions, Organization members tended to resemble their talents. Axel’s hair, for example. Marluxia’s too. I didn’t. I was a brunette. I looked like I’d end up having earth powers. Not fire.

A smile spread up Axel’s face. “This is the best news I’ve heard all week. C’mon, Talinexa. I’ll teach you what to do. How to use it and how to control it.” He beckoned for me to follow him. I did so. We made our way through the castle to a training room. “We’ll start slow, Tana---Talinexa.”

I raised an eyebrow. “I didn’t know you knew how to do that.”

That earned me a laugh. “You know me too well,” he mused.

His dangerous, disgustingly smug and wickedly attractive crooked smirk started to form on his face.

I remembered when I was whole---when I had a heart. My previous life, as it were. I remembered the concept of finding someone attractive. Maybe the passion and feeling was gone given my lack of a heart, but it would take a fool with poor eyesight to not realize Axel was good-looking. Because he was. And that bothered me.

“Let’s do this,” he said.

“You don’t remember, do you?” Axel asked as I panted on the floor of the training room, my daggers on the floor on either side of me. I looked up at him tiredly.

“Remember what?” I complained.

He chuckled and plopped down next to me, one leg flat on the ground and the other bent up toward his chest to rest his elbow on. “Your life as a Somebody.”

“I do.”

Axel snorted. “No you don’t,” he said. “If you did, you’d remember something you didn’t mention.”

“Stop the stupid ‘speaking in riddles’ thing and just tell me what you mean,” I snapped.

“You didn’t call me out when I slipped.”

“Huh?”

“I almost called you your... Somebody’s name.”

“Tanalie.” I brushed a hand over my hair, smoothing down the flyaways. I hadn’t heard that name in... I didn’t know how long. I couldn’t pinpoint exactly when I’d become Talinexa. Maybe I should have kept track.

“Yeah. You didn’t ask me how I know your Somebody’s name.”

I shrugged. “I didn’t notice you even said it,” I said. “Was more worried about you charring my eyebrows off.”

Axel snorted. “You can’t worry. We don’t feel.”

“Still. I didn’t want you to char my eyebrows off.” I took a deep breath, trying to ease out of panting. “I guess... now that you mention it I guess I... I guess my... memories of being whole are a bit fuzzy at best. I assume you and I knew each other as Somebodies.”

Axel just watched me for a moment. “Yeah. Yeah we did,” he admitted.

“How come your memories are clearer than mine?” I asked.

He shrugged. “Dunno. Just fought hard to remember them, I guess,” he said. “Didn’t want to lose them.”

I nodded and sat up, tucking my braid back down the collar of my trench coat. “I can understand that. Maybe when I first became a Nobody I didn’t want to---or care to---remember who I was as a human.”

Axel pursed his lips and pushed himself to his feet. Dang he was tall. “Maybe.” He brushed a hand over his hair. “Same time tomorrow, got it memorized? You’ll be a fully-fledged pyro in no time.” He shot me a playful wink and left the training room.

I got to my feet and also walked out to wash off the sweat and go to sleep.

Everyone else in the Organization slept in their coats since the coats were protective. I hated it though, so I always removed it. Choosing instead to sleep in my undershirt and trousers.

I was lying on top of my bed for a full two minutes before I realized I was too wound up to sleep.

Sighing, I slung my overcoat back on and left the castle to wander the town. It was exceptionally beautiful after nightfall. Darkness was healing and soothing. The calm of a sleeping town helped relax me.

“Had a feeling I’d find you out here.”

I jumped a foot in the air and whirled around. “Axel,” I greeted, attempting to save my dignity and failing miserably. Not that I felt any shame. Not that I felt anything at all.

He fell into step beside me. “Don’t you remember?” he asked casually as we walked down quiet streets. The trains and trams didn’t run this late, so we could hop the rails without fear of getting run over.

“Remember what?”

“That we knew each other when we were Somebodies.”

I sighed. “Sorry, Axel. I... I don’t. Were we friends?”

He nodded. “Good friends.”

*****

“Lea, what’s going on with you?” Tanalie asked quietly, trying not to cause a scene.

Lea shook his head. “It’s nothing, Tana. Promise. Got it memorized?” His little catchphrase was half-hearted and Tanalie knew better than to fall for it.

“Don’t give me that. I know you better than that. Something’s going on.” She reached out and set her hand on his upper arm. “Don’t you trust me?” The pleading in her dark eyes made him sigh.

“I do,” he said.

“Please? Please tell me? I can’t help if you don’t let me in.” Her smile was forlorn and heartachingly seeking to comfort him.

Lea sighed. “I’m considering Xemnas’ offer,” he said.

She immediately dropped her hand and took a step back. “What? Lea... why?”

*****

“Tanalie!”

She turned around from where she’d been walking the streets of their town, recognizing the voice. She froze. “What... happened to you?” she asked as her best friend jogged to catch up with her. He smirked that familiar smirk but... something was off about it. Wrong. Empty. Reaching up, Tanalie set her fingers on the marks below his eyes. “What are these? And what’s with the black coat?”

Lea’s smirk stayed on his face. “I did it! I accepted Xemnas’ offer!”

“What? Lea! You promised me you’d tell me beforehand---”

“It’s not Lea anymore! I go by Axel now. Cool, huh? Got it memorized?” He chuckled. “And yeah, I kinda forgot. But, Tanalie, it’s so much better this way! Nothing... nothing can hurt me anymore. Emotionally, I mean.”

Tanalie stared at him, eyes flicking between the marks under his eyes and the long coat. “Were you really hurting that bad? That you felt the need to give up your heart?” she asked quietly. “That you felt like you could... give up... us?! Our friendship? You can’t be friends with someone you don’t like and you can’t like without a heart.”

Lea---no, Axel---grabbed Tanalie gently by the shoulders. “That’s not true! We’re still friends!”

Tanalie shook her head and pulled her shoulders from his grip. “No. I don’t know you anymore. Lea is gone. All I see is Axel. And I don’t know Axel. I don’t love Axel. I just... I...” She shook her head again, turned on her heel, and ran away from him.

“Tanalie! Wait!” Axel shouted, running after her.

But she’d always known the town better than he did. All the secret pathways and hidden cubbies and hidey-holes. She disappeared before he could catch up.

*****

The pain Tanalie felt over losing Lea to Axel was acute and nearing the point of being unbearable. He was her best friend. Indeed, her only friend. She’d never been close to Isa even though they associated with each other through Lea. She cried for hours on the very top of the clock tower whenever it got to be too much. She was small and light enough that Lea---no, AXEL, she reminded herself---would never be able to find her up around the bells since he was too heavy, despite him being built like a beanpole.

He willingly gave up his heart. He threw his friendship with her aside like it didn’t even matter.

And... maybe... it didn’t matter. Maybe it never had. To him. Maybe he only hung out with her out of pity. Pity for the poor friendless girl in his school classes who never talked to anyone and kept to herself due to her anxiety.

Tanalie wondered what she could do to rid herself of the pain and the anxiety. To be numb and dispose of icky emotions---

No. Anything but that.

She was not giving up her heart.

“Tanalie! Come down from there!” Even just hearing his voice sent lances of pain through her heart. He was down below on the ledge just over the clock, lowering his hands after cupping them around his mouth. “I want to talk to you! Please!”

She glared at him, curled up in her position with tear tracks dried to her face from the winds this high up.

After a moment, she slid down the shingles. She was the fool who could rarely refuse her best friend anything. Still, her pain and anger were welling up inside her. When she reached Axel, she slugged him on the jaw.

“Okay. I deserved that,” he muttered. “For not telling you.”

“It’s been ages, Axel!” she spat, snarling his name like it was poison in her mouth. “Why come back now?”

“The Organization is down several members. I’m inviting you to join.”

Tanalie scoffed. “Like I would even consider---”

“You’re hurting, Tana. I can see it in your eyes. And the salt tracks.” He brushed a gloved thumb over her tear tracks. She slapped his hand away. “Just... come with me and all the pain will go away. You might not even remember it at all. It’s difficult to know for sure from person to person, but you can leave it all behind. Trust me.” He held his hand out to her.

It was a moment of weakness. Of sorrow and pain. A moment of her judgement lapsing, that she took his hand.

Darkness swallowed them, and the next thing she knew, she was somewhere else. Someone else, too.

Tanalie was gone---and Talinexa was born in her place.

*****

“Hey, Axel?” I asked.

“Hmm?”

“You’re staring at me.”

“Sorry. Just lost in thought,” he said, shaking his head to clear it. “You know, I’ll be honest with you: I always hoped you’d develop some sort of fire power. Just seemed... fitting, I guess. You’ve always had such... fervor, I guess. Drive, maybe. Kinda hard to call it passion since, y’know, we don’t have hearts or feelings anymore.”

I snorted. “Thanks.”

“We should get back. Get some sleep. C’mon.” He held his hand out and created a dark Corridor. His other hand was extended to me. I took it and let him pull me through. I wasn’t particularly gifted at Corridors myself so I relied on Axel’s whenever I could.

We reappeared just outside my room.

“Get some rest, Talinexa. See you tomorrow for training, got it memorized?”

“Sure thing. G’night, Axel.”

“Night.” He strolled off.

I went back into my room. Our little stroll had tuckered me out. Shucking off my overcoat, I collapsed in bed.

Axel’s voice echoed in my mind. “Don’t you remember? We were good friends...” I wondered if I wished I could remember when we were friends. I guessed we must have been close if we joined the Organization together.

I wondered how close and if there was ever anything... more involved.

Probably not. Axel seemed like the flirty, arrogant, attractive bad-boy type, but he wasn’t. He was dangerous, to be certain. But underneath the cold-blooded killer, hot-blooded assassin he was, I’d also seen the silly, playful, genuine dork that was his true character. Something about it resonated with me, whispering that was who he truly was under the layers. Underneath everything, he wasn’t bad.

Except for the fact I’d literally seen him make people explode.

And he was going to teach me how to do the same thing.

Without a heart I wasn’t sure if I had a moral sense of right and wrong, but I wondered if I’d be squeamish about his spontaneous combustion ability if I could feel. Seemed like something “normal” people would consider “bad.”

Still, Axel couldn’t have been that bad of a Somebody if we were friends. Unless I was... not a good person as a Somebody.

But that didn’t seem right.

Putting my hands behind my head, I closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep.

I landed hard on the ground with an, “Oof!” My daggers clattered across the floor.

“Get it memorized, Talinexa: fire is more powerful than you initially expect and if you don’t learn how to control it, you’ll never be able to be in control of the situation,” Axel said.

I groaned and rubbed the spot where I’d been burned. “Good to know. Thanks.”

Axel sat down next to me. “Tanalie... I mean, Talinexa... I need you to remember your life as a Somebody. I need you to remember our friendship. There’s something about it that I don’t know. But you did. And I need you to remember it.”

“I...”

“I know you can do it. You were always smart. Smarter than me and... your memory was always so accurate. You had such an amazingly retentive mind. Please, just, try. It might help you learn how to use your powers.”

I sighed and pushed my flyaway hairs out of my face. “Okay. How do I do this?”

“Memories are connected in a chain. Start remembering your life as a Somebody and the rest will start to follow. Just sit still and let the memories flow. Let your mind wander down the rabbit hole of your life.”

“That sounds like a bad time,” I said.

“Just do it,” Axel said.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. “What am I looking for?”

“Your drive. I joined the Organization before you did. Not by much. But enough. Somewhere in there, you found a powerful drive within you. I think it unlocked your fire power.”

*****

“Hi there! I’m Lea!” the teenage boy with the spiky red hair exclaimed. “This is Isa!”

“‘M Tana,” the girl mumbled, not meeting either of their eyes. “W’ll, Tanalie but no one calls me that. No one... calls me anything, actually.” She shrugged and went back to poking at her lunch.

“Mind if we sit with you?” Lea asked.

“Free town,” she muttered.

Lea sat down next to her, already chatting. It was prattle as far as Tana was concerned.

“What... what was your name again?” Tana asked.

“Lea. My name is Lea. Got it memorized now?”

“Yeah. Sorry. I just... never really talk to anyone.” She shuffled in her seat and took a bite of her lunch. “Hard to remember their names.”

Lea didn’t need to know she was lying. She knew his name. She knew his name, Isa’s name, and everyone else’s names in their class. She sat silent and observed her peers more than she interacted with them. Tana knew his personality and knew how he interacted with Isa. She knew most everyone and how they interacted with their friends.

“Nah don’t sweat it.” Lea waved a hand dismissively. “‘S long as you got it memorized now.” He smirked at her. “Hey. I kinda like that. ‘Got it memorized?’ Catchy!” He laughed. “So. Tana. Wanna tell us about yourself?”

“Not really.”

“Hey, that’s fine too! You don’t have to. Just whenever you feel like it. I’d like to get to know you better. I read one of your essays once in class to peer-review it. It was incredible. You’re so smart. I want to know more about you.”

Tana looked up from her lunch to meet his eyes. They were brilliant green. “Really?” she asked.

“Of course!”

Tana nodded. “Thanks. No one’s ever wanted to get to know me before.”

“Well I do!”

“Thank you, Lea.”

*****

“Tanalie?” Lea asked.

“Yes?” Tanlie replied. The alley was dark and silent apart from the two of them. The narrow gap between the two buildings meant they were standing very close, chests nearly touching.

“Tanalie we’ve become good friends, right?”

“Right.”

“Would it be pushing for me to say I love you?”

“I, uh... I suppose it depends. I love you as my best friend, Lea. I just...”

“I didn’t mean it in any other way!” Lea backpedalled. “I meant that I love you as a friend too! I just... I didn’t know... how you would take that...”

“Aw how touching,” a deep voice said darkly. The two teenagers jumped away from each other, hitting their backs on the walls of the buildings. “Two children looking for something that they can’t find with each other. Your hearts are steeped with darkness, both of you. Desire and longing for more and not knowing what it is. I have a solution. A new purpose for hearts like yours. Give them up. You’ll no longer feel anything. No anger. No hurt. No pain. No happiness either.”

“Thanks, but no,” Tanalie said. “We’re not interested.”

A man emerged from the darkness. He had silver hair and amber eyes. Lea pushed Tanalie behind him protectively.

“I am Xemnas, and you, young man, haven’t said anything yet. Are you interested?”

Lea stared at Xemnas. “I...”

“Lea?” Tanalie whispered.

“We’ll consider it,” Lea said. “No promises.”

“You’ll come to the right decision,” Xemnas said. He vanished into the darkness.

“Why did you say that?” Tanalie hissed.

“That’s how you walk people off. The answer is no but you say maybe to let them down gently,” Lea said.

“Oh. Okay.”

*****

“Tanalie...” Lea whispered quietly. “What if... what if this is the way?”

“It’s not,” Tana replied. “That guy---”

“Xemnas.”

“Whatever. Xemnas doesn’t have the answer. We can’t just give up our hearts!”

“Apparently we can!” Lea threw his hands in the air. At the beginning of their friendship, Tana would have winced away for fear of accidentally getting whacked in the face. Now, however, she didn’t even flinch.

She grabbed his shoulders when he dropped his hands. “No! Lea---our emotions help make us what we are. Even our pain. To live without a heart willingly... isn’t living.” She shook her head. “I’m not going to. But promise me you’ll let me know what you’re thinking, okay?”

Lea reached up and set his hands on her elbows. “Promise.”

“Got that memorized?” Tana teased.

“Hey! That’s my thing!”

She laughed.

*****

Tanalie shook her head, standing on the top of the clock tower and staring off at the sunset. Ever since Lea had become Axel she’d been on a constant mood swing between angry at him, devastated that she lost him, and determined to find a way to restore him to the way he was.

“Had a feeling I’d find you here.”

“Go away,” she spat, not turning away from the sunset.

“Well. At least that fire is better than the cold shoulder,” Axel remarked, coming to a stop beside her and looking out as well.

“Would you prefer the cold shoulder?”

“Nope.”

“Go away, Axel. I want nothing to do with you.”

“You were still my best friend, Tanalie.”

“Yeah. Keyword being ‘were.’ As in past tense. As in, you can’t feel anything, including friendship. So leave me alone or I’m going to shove you off the tower.” She knew she wouldn’t---not really---but the threat did make him pause long enough that she could shoulder past him and head for the stairs.

“Tana, wait!” Axel called, running after her. He caught her wrist. “Please.”

She whirled, ripping her arm from his grip. The setting sun caught her dark eyes and set them ablaze. “Enough! Let me be! If you were ever my true friend you would respect my wishes now and get out of my life!” With that, she whipped back around, her hair smacking him in the chest, and ran down the stairs. Axel didn’t follow her. He’d never seen her like that. She’d always been rather timid and soft-spoken.

He found he kinda liked the strength that came with that fire.

*****

I slumped. I’d been sitting with my eyes closed for ten minutes as the chain of my memories as a Somebody came back to me. “I hated you, Axel,” I said. “I hated you for being Axel instead of Lea. That fire came from being angry at you for abandoning me and our friendship. It came from heartbreak at the idea that you just threw me aside like our relationship meant nothing to you.”

“That wasn’t the case, Talinexa. Our relationship meant everything to me. I wasn’t perfect at being a good friend but I tried and I loved you.”

I stared at him for a moment, deciding what to say next. “I loved you too. Intensely. It broke me when you chose to become a Nobody.”

“It’s a decision I regret. Or... it’s a decision I would regret if I could feel,” Axel said. “Ever since I gave up my heart... I can’t stand this emptiness. Being without a heart---it’s more than I can handle. Even with you, Roxas, and Xion around... as friends... even Saïx... I can’t. The emptiness is driving me mad.”

“What are you saying, Lea? Axel?”

“I’m saying I’m done. I’m done being a Nobody. I’m done being part of the Organization. I’m done being unable to feel anything. I’m done not being able to love you.”

“Axel...” I reached out and set my hands on his. “There’s nothing we can do. We gave up our hearts to join the Organization and made a commitment to be loyal. We have no other choice. Organization Thirteen doesn’t take resignations. We either die as members, or they kill us for desertion.”

“Honestly, Talinexa, at this point, I’d chose the latter option.”

I got to my feet and summoned some fire. “Let’s talk about it later,” I said. “I do believe we have training to finish.”

Axel pushed himself to his feet. “Indeed we do.”

I woke with a gasp. A familiar face was leaning over me. But there was something different. After nine years.

“Tana! You’re alright!” Axel exclaimed.

No. Not Axel.

I sat up abruptly, smacking him in the forehead with my own. “Lea!” I exclaimed.

He pushed my stray hairs out of my face, brushing them back into my braid. “Tanalie... you’re alive!”

“So... so are you!” I shrieked, pushing my fingers into his hair. “You’re... you’re Lea again!” My thumbs brushed under his eyes. The marks that used to be there when he was Axel were gone. I gasped and pressed my forehead to his. “Lea...!”

“Tana... we’re whole again! We have hearts! We can feel!” Lea whispered. “We’re... Somebodies!”

The impulsivity of emotions swept over me. Almost a year of being a Nobody---a member of Organization XIII---with no emotions left me starved for feeling. I couldn’t imagine how much more intense that was for Lea given he’d joined the Organization nine years ago or so. I curled my fingers into Lea’s hair and pulled him toward me.

His lips crashed against mine, the same reckless abandon I felt was surging through him to me and back again.

“Lea?” I asked breathlessly when I pulled away.

“Yeah?”

“I love you.”

“Don’t you remember? I love you too,” he said.

I smiled and nodded. “I remember.”

#KH Axel #Axel #Kingdom Hearts #Axel Imagine #Axel FanFiction #Kingdom Hearts Imagine #Kingdom Hearts FanFiction #KH Lea #Lea #Lea Imagine #Lea FanFiction #got it memorized?#Tal writes

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